Page 119 of Tiger's Dream
“Where did you send them?” I asked.
“To a place and time they will prosper.”
“And where’s that?” I asked, hoping I wouldn’t find them in my bed when we got home.
“I sent them to Egypt,” she said. “Their magic will be appreciated there.”
“I see,” I said, not really wanting to know how magical her newly fashioned bugs were. As we continued, I pondered how it was that Ana seemed to know things. She reminded me of Kadam in that way. Just because I, too, had access to the amulet didn’t mean I understood the workings of the universe. Perhaps I was just a dumb beast—a soldier unversed in the ways of scholars.
Ren had called me brave, and I was in some cases, but the idea of traveling among the stars, being undone by time, and seeing all things past, present, and future disturbed me. I’d thought that Ana was much the same as me, but perhaps being a goddess gave her more insight. Someday, when I actuallywasbrave enough, I’d ask her about it.
“What’s next?” I questioned when we’d finished our work.
She perused the list. “It says clean up the compound after the battle with Lokesh and help the Baiga. As a side note, Kadam added a phrase. ‘Tell Kishan it’s the battle of the jawbreakers.’” Anamika frowned. “He wants us to break jaws?”
I laughed. “No. Jawbreakers are a type of hard candy. So, we’re the ones who made all that disappear. Kadam had said everything at the compound mysteriously vanished. He’d assumed it was Lokesh’s doing.” Sucking in a breath, I continued, “I suppose I can take the lead on this one. I’ll have to time it carefully not to run into myself.”
After taking us back, or, I guess forward, from the time of the cave, we paused on the outskirts of the trees in the deep forest of the Baiga and watched as a wrath-filled Lokesh sped away from the building. If Ana was shocked to see vehicles or lights or modern technology, she didn’t show it. She was remarkably resilient in that way.
We started outside. Any injured men who served Lokesh were sent to the outskirts of a large nearby city. Anamika didn’t want to help them too much. The Baiga she found were healed, and they trailed after us like faithful servants, remarking on the goddess who saved them and helping us pick through the debris to search for the fallen.
She ignored any attempts to engage her for the most part, and we quickly dismantled the equipment in the main room. The damaged wood from the guard towers turned to ash and blew away. The metal pieces from the building melted, and I watched as the ground opened up to swallow what was once a room full of computers, cables, video records, and cameras.
When we came upon the area filled with candy, Ana picked up a red jawbreaker and rolled it between her fingers with a raised eyebrow. I popped one in my mouth, bit down, and regretted it. “Ow!” I said with the candy balled up inside my cheek. “I get it now. It breaks your jaw along with your head.”
“How did Kelsey fashion this?” she asked.
“With the Golden Fruit.”
“Inventive.” Tentatively, Ana touched her tongue to the candy. “I like it,” she said. “Perhaps if you lick instead of biting down, you will appreciate the sweetness.”
“Yeah,” I said, watching her eyes close, her face enraptured, as she licked her candy. My throat suddenly felt tight and I nearly choked on my jawbreaker. While she wasn’t looking, I spat out the sweet onto the pile that rolled around our legs and used the power of the amulet to transform it all. It turned into a glittering powdery mass that Ana swept out the door with a flourish of her hand. The candy she’d been holding transformed as well, and she blew the chalky dust from her palm. I tried to ignore the becoming red stain on her lips as we moved ahead.
At the other end of the building, we came upon the prison where Lokesh had kept Ren. Ana paused briefly at the cage where Ren had suffered for months and ran her fingertips across the bars. She began the work of making all the innards of the room disappear, starting with his cage. I stood on the other side, utterly transfixed by the tools Lokesh had used to hurt Ren.
I’m not exactly sure what came over me. I’d been there before, knew what Ren had gone through. But back then, I’d been focused on Kelsey and on getting Ren out. Now, seeing the evidence of the brutality Lokesh had inflicted upon my brother, I could no longer shut my eyes to what was done to him. The evidence lay before me in streaks of dried blood on the table. My hands shook as I touched my fingertip to the handle of a spiked hammer. It shifted slightly and disturbed one of the four manacles on the table. The chain attached to it clinked softly.
Suddenly, it was like I was back in the circus, smelling his anxiety, his fear. My blood pounded and my breath hitched in my lungs. The entire scene was too much for me to handle. Why hadn’t I rescued him? Why wasn’t I going back in time now and stopping it? I wasn’t brave at all. I was a coward. Too weak and spineless to protect my loved ones from unnecessary pain.
I swept the tools aside and, with a mighty heave, tossed the table across the room. It splintered against the wall. After changing into tiger form, I tore cabinets and wood apart with my claws and broke a chair with my teeth.
Something touched my shoulder and I whirled, snarling, and roared loudly. The scent was fresh, like flowers, but I was enraged and wouldn’t be calmed. I swiped at the soft thing and heard a cry. With that out of my way, I turned back to my task, attacking again, and when I could no longer reach anything as a tiger, I switched back to a man.
When every hook, every saw, and every knife lay at my feet broken or was scattered far enough away that I could no longer see it, I collapsed on the floor, my chest heaving. Pain slid into my lungs, into my heart, like one of the broken knives had been thrust into my chest. It lay there, jagged-edged and sharp, cutting my breaths in half.
A sob escaped from my lips, and once the first one left my body, more followed. With my back against the wall, I drew up my legs, pressed my head in my hands, and cried with a deeper anguish than I’d ever felt before. The vast world, all of time and space, was open to me, and yet I felt trapped in a prison of my own making. I wanted to change what happened to Ren so badly and yet Kadam told me I couldn’t. I was only allowed to change the things I’d already done.
If I’d had the courage to save Ren, if I had actually accomplished it, then he never would have suffered at the hands of Lokesh. But he did suffer. And his miseries were now my fault two times over. Once, in the forest with Kelsey, I’d let him down, and he’d been captured by Lokesh. And now, here I was again, allowing his torture and anguish to continue. How could he ever forgive me for what I’d done? It seemed I was destined to fail everyone.
Something soft touched my arm and cool fingertips brushed the hair from my brow. Ana crouched in front of me. Her mind touched my burdened one, and she watched my thoughts, quietly, as if from a distance for a time. Instead of trying to rationalize or talk me out of what I was feeling, she just allowed me to be. She let the sorrow sit there between us and she shared its burden with me.
I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it, but I reached out for her, needing her physically close as much as she was mentally. Her mind shut away from me for a moment as she shifted, repositioning herself in my arms. I dropped my hands and mentally retreated, guessing that she was uncomfortable. But a moment later, her mind was open to me again. She’d wrapped her arms around me and was stroking my back in small circles while I clutched her to me.
“Shh, Sohan,” she said. “Come back to me, my tiger.” Her voice gentled and soothed my wavering thoughts.
Her lips touched my temple and my brow as she rained soft kisses along my forehead. As she did so, I felt a cooling balm run through my veins. It had an almost drugging effect. The edges of my vision went fuzzy and everything inside me went numb.
“What…what did you do?” I asked.
