Page 101 of Tiger's Dream
“What is this?” I asked.
“A cenotaph for Anamika,” he said. The man laughed briefly. “Her mother was so upset when I had it made.” He turned to me. His eyes were bloodshot and watery. “I gave up on her, you see, but Mika’s mother never did. She’s much stronger than I am. Full of faith.” Raising a hand, he added, “Don’t tell her I said so, though. I’d never hear the end of it.” Crouching down, he picked off a few spent blossoms near the base of the memorial and tossed them aside.
“It’s a lovely gesture,” I said lamely, not knowing how to respond.
“Is it?” he asked. “Or is it just a monument to my own weaknesses?”
“You think it a weakness not to defend her honor,” I guessed.
“Yes. Would you not feel the same?”
“I do feel the same,” I answered sympathetically. “He deserved to die and I believe he did.”
“But you aren’t certain.”
“No. It was more important to save the children than to assure myself of his demise.”
“We are lucky to have a man such as you come into our lives.”
I was going to say it was I who was the fortunate one. To have known Ana in all the ways I now knew her was a gift. She was special. Instead of telling him that, which would have been strange coming from a person they barely knew, I just thanked him and headed back into the house.
As I did, he asked the question I’d been waiting for. “Why?” he mumbled quietly. “Why did you risk so much for us? For her?”
I’d known that question was coming, and as much as I racked my brain, I never came up with something that sounded reasonable. I felt his eyes on my back, willing me to answer. Almost without thinking, I said, “A girl I loved once was destroyed by such a man. I was unable to prevent her death. The grief nearly killed me. I could not let such a thing happen again. Not when I had the ability to save her.”
He said nothing in response so I left him in his ruminations.
***
Days passed and I was no closer to figuring out how to pull my Ana from her younger version. I made a sacrifice every evening—lighting candles and making offerings to the goddess. Ana’s mother had given me a little bell, and she made sure all the household left me alone when I wandered the garden paths.
When she’d first asked what I was doing, I told her I was praying for Ana. She was the one who’d suggested using the garden. In fact, her faith in me was so certain she began asking me what things I needed after evening meal every night. She didn’t balk when I asked for candles, feathers, bits of fabric, or mangos. Once, she came with me. I murmured my words silently that night and she must have sensed my discomfort because she left me alone after that.
During the days, I sat by Ana’s side. I read to her, and when we were left alone, I talked to her as she slept on, telling her everything I missed about being with her. She seemed to be healthy enough. Despite not eating and not really drinking, her body was healing. I didn’t know if that was the magic of the goddess or of the snakebite, but either way, I was grateful.
Taking the pieces of the truth stone, I attempted to put them together again, thinking to refashion the phoenix egg, but the pieces didn’t seem to fit. I hefted one of the larger pieces and thought I might be able to nick off the sharp point, so, one afternoon, I pulled out my knife and touched it to the stone. It took some effort at first, but I found that when I positioned the knife at the right angle, the stone peeled away like wood. When that edge was smooth, I started working on another side, thinking I could fashion a pretty gem that could hang around Ana’s neck.
After a month, there was still no change in Ana. I had become a fixture in the household and often went out hunting or helping Anamika’s father, but I made a point to sit by Ana’s bedside every day and carve. Ana’s mother wondered at this but her father told her to let me be, that I would heal my own hurts by being near her. He didn’t know how true his words were.
I finished a small piece of the stone and had turned it into a tiger. It sat in a small box in my room next to the snake. The serpent was slowly growing but she managed to hide herself well enough when anyone entered my room. I brought her water and little mice I found in the barn but she ignored the mice, letting them scurry away. I wasn’t sure what magical snakes ate. In fact, I’d never seen Fanindra eat before so maybe they didn’t need to.
The man who had no aura was soon caught leaving the grounds with a precious collection of knives. He was followed, and after some intense questioning, he confessed to conspiring with the trader to capture Anamika. Apparently, he’d been paid a generous fee for his assistance. In exchange for leading a team of men to the trader, who was quickly dispatched, he was allowed to live.
To thank the slave woman for her help, Anamika’s father sought out her owner. He bought her freedom and sent her to the couple caring for all the rescued children along with three camels loaded with supplies and enough money to provide for all of them. A letter came saying that three of children had been returned to their families but the others had yet to be located.
I was well into month two, carving my broken gemstone egg, when the knife slipped and a piece of the stone broke off. I nicked my finger and quickly put it into my mouth as I considered the flaw I’d made in my work. Something about it was familiar. I peered at it, trying to see the thing it was going to be beneath the surface. My breath caught and my heart started beating quickly. A silly sort of giggle erupted from my mouth, and I twisted the object, making sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing.
“Is it possible?” I mumbled. The only one in the room was Anamika and she couldn’t hear me as far as I knew. The colors were right. The size would work, but my mind couldn’t truly grasp that it was happening. Testing out my idea, I began carving again, this time with the new image in my mind. The outer layers of the gemstone peeled away like soft butter as my knife drew down one edge, almost like it was helping me shape it into what it was destined to be. I ran my finger across the fresh cut. There was no mistaking it now.
The thing I held in my hand wasn’t yet but would someday be the Rajaram family seal.
It was clear to me that something very plain and precious had been in my hands all that time and I just couldn’t see it. I had resigned myself to my fate, believing that I had failed my quest, and had decided that I could have a happy life in the past, serving Anamika’s family and watching over her until I died. But seeing the seal of my family coming to life in my hands was a miracle. It symbolized the future.
Renewed with hope, I set aside the knife and knelt at Ana’s side, placing the truth stone on the bed beside her. Picking up her hand, I pressed it to my lips and tried to see in her the precious thing that was hiding from me, much as the seal had been.
“I know I’m not worthy of you,” I said, rubbing my thumb across her knuckles. “I didn’t save you when you needed me. I wasn’t the companion you deserved.” The truth stone glowed where it lay. A dam inside me burst open, and all the thoughts and words I’d kept inside spilled out. “When Phet said a tiger needed to stay behind, I didn’t want it to be me. I’d been secretly hoping that Ren would take the noble road as he often did and I’d get to go back to Kelsey’s time with her. I didn’t see you for what you were.”
Reaching toward her, I smoothed her dark hair away from her face. “I know you now, Ana. I know the girl you were, the woman I fell for when I was thirteen, the warrior who drove me crazy, and the goddess you have become. Give me a chance. Come back to me. This time I’m choosing this life without reservation. I promise to serve alongside you for the rest of our days.”
