Page 103 of Tiger's Dream
“I know you’re upset,” he said. “I don’t blame you, son. But thisisher past, Kishan. You remember the stories. The goddess Durga was born out of the river. When the rains came, the Anamika you knew had to perish so the goddess could be born. What she went through as a captive is the dark memory she hides from you. It was there. It was always there, Kishan.”
Scoffing and feeling disgusted with both myself and him, I said, “There must have been another way.”
“No,” he answered. “You gave her the fifth gift, the truth stone. And the fifth sacrifice is now fully realized. Without the terrible events of her past, Ana would never have been on that lonely road, never would have had you by her side, and never would have become the goddess.”
“Maybe that would have been better.”
“Better for whom?” Kadam asked.
“Better for her,” I spat.
Kadam clamped his lips in a tight line. He turned his back to me. “She’s waiting for you, you know.”
My gaze darted up to Ana’s window.
“No, not that one,” he clarified. “The one you drew out.”
I glanced around the dark landscape. “She’s here?” I asked, suddenly feeling desperate to see her.
He shook his head. “Not here,” he said. “Back at home. In the time you share. She calls to you even now. She wants you to come home. Can you not hear her?”
Frowning, I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. A soft thrum of power pulsed beneath my skin, and I felt renewed and alive in a way I hadn’t felt in far too long. Twisting my neck, I flared my nostrils and scents of all kinds registered in my mind. My lids shot open with surprise and I summoned the energy to transform. In the space of a few seconds, my perspective changed.
Whiskers sprung from my upper lip and my teeth elongated. I shifted down to the ground and felt the familiar sensation of my claws tearing into the grass. Swishing my tail, I arched my back and stretched in a way that felt exactly right. My tiger was back. It was interesting to me how much I missed him.
I growled softly and snorted at Kadam’s feet, fogging his shiny, polished shoes with my breath. A faraway singsong melody tickled the sensitive hairs in my ears. I cocked my head. It was Durga’s hatchling singing along with her goddess as she called for her tiger. Almost reluctantly, I changed back to my human form.
“I’m sorry for what you’ve lost, son.”
“You mean for what Ana’s lost.”
“No, that’s not what I’m referring to, though I am sorry for that too.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s what you gave up this time to save her, to bring her back.”
“You mean committing myself to a life spent in the service of the goddess?”
“There is that. But in pulling Ana back from the brink, you gave up something.”
My heart froze. I remembered that long ago day when I saved Ren. Kadam, or Phet, had told me I gave up my humanity to bring him back. It hadn’t felt like much at the time, and truthfully, I didn’t want to live forever anyway. Not really. But my immortality had already been taken. What was left.
“Tell me,” I said stiffly.
“You can no longer be separated from the tiger. If you choose this course and decide to go through with everything on the list, then the tiger will be a part of you until the day you die. Your life is forever entwined with his.”
“I see.” Standing there, I considered the consequence for saving Ana and decided very quickly it was worth it. I’d lived with the tiger a long time. We were a part of each other. I didn’t regret saving Ren and I wasn’t going to regret saving Ana.
“I know you distrust me right now, Kishan,” Kadam said. “Believe me, if I could have changed this event that transpired in young Anamika’s life, I would have.”
“You mean you would have if it wouldn’t have affected the goddess.”
His eyes darted away. “Yes. That is what I mean.”
I steeled my spine, my expression stony. “So, what’s next then?” I asked. “Do I simply return to her?”
“Not quite. Go home to the family tonight. Try to get some rest. You’ll see me tomorrow and you’ll understand everything then.”
