Page 18 of Tiger's Dream
I woke at dawn and was just finishing stretching out my limbs when I caught the scent of jasmine in the air. Anamika was seated at the fountain, dipping her hand in the water and letting it slip through her fingers over and over. She appeared to be deep in thought.
Lazily, I padded over to her and she ran a hand over my back as I sat at her feet. As she continued to stroke my head and shoulders, I felt her speak in my mind—a special ability we discovered when entering the battle with Lokesh as Durga and Damon. I never got a chance to ask Kelsey or Ren if the same thing happened to them. The trick came in handy when serving as Durga’s tiger. She never had to guess what I wanted to say based on my tiger face.
What are we going to do?
I don’t know.What do you think about all this? I answered her.
I am unsure.Do I wish to undo the past—revisit battles I’ve lost, seek the ones I love?Yes!But if I change history, would I not also risk losing my brother to the demon?If I create positive outcomes where I was once defeated, do I not also lose the lessons I learned and, ultimately, lose my true self?
Growling lightly, I answered her.You’re saying Ishouldcurse my past self?
No.I am saying you should learn to embrace who you are, what you have become.
Shaking my tiger body, I responded.I’ve lost too much, Ana.The tiger has destroyed everything I cared about, my parents, my inheritance, my chance for a family, and has taken from me two women whom I loved.
Perhaps you are right, and yet, think about what the tiger has given you.
I could just as easily ask you to embrace the goddess version of yourself.
She froze with her hand on my head.You are correct that I do not exactly welcome my own destiny. After a moment of silent reflection, she sent a thought to my mind again.You have already started your journey toward our destiny, have you not, Kishan?
Her hand fell from my shoulder as I paced a few feet away. Switching to a man, I kept my back to her and said, “You’re referring to the checked-off item.”
I cocked my head but only heard her quiet breathing as a response. Turning around, I found her gazing at me steadily, waiting patiently for my explanation. I ran a hand through my hair and crouched in front of her. “Kadam asked me to take the amulet and not tell you. He said we needed to save her.”
“Kelsey,” Anamika stated.
“Yes. I had assumed that something was wrong at home, that she’d been attacked, but what really happened was…well, it was completely unexpected.”
“Tell me,” she said as she tucked a leg beneath her other one, exposing a long and lovely bare limb.
Suddenly uncomfortable, I stood up and began pacing. “We didn’t go to Kelsey’s present or her future, we went to her past.”
“Her past? Why?”
“When she was a teenager, her parents died in a car accident.”
“What is a teenager?”
“A teenager is a young girl. Not a child and not yet a woman.”
“I see,” she remarked thoughtfully, “and what is a car?”
“A car is a sort of—” I racked my brain trying to come up with a way to describe it. Instead I offered my hand. “Perhaps it will be easier to show you.”
Anamika stood and held out her hand. As I wrapped her warm hand in mine, I couldn’t help but notice how soft her skin was and how the fragrance of lotus and jasmine wafted from her hair. She smiled, catching a glimpse of the direction of my thinking, but then I quickly shuffled thoughts of her legs and the scent of her hair to the back of my mind and brought my recent experience with Kelsey to the forefront.
During our time together, she’d rarely opened her mind to me and, as a courtesy, I kept mine from her as well, though it was entirely possible to fully know everything each of us felt and experienced. It was also possible to limit what was shown like I had done with Kelsey. I pulled up everything that had happened since Phet revealed himself to me and let her see it through my eyes.
Anamika absorbed everything quietly, and yet I could sense the surprise and the awe overwhelming her. Questions filled her mind as she studied the scenes from my perspective that played out for her like a movie. After she saw the death of Kelsey’s parents and witnessed the removal of myself from Kelsey’s mind, she stretched out gentle mental fingers in an attempt to see more. I cut her off and let go of her hand.
“You’ve seen enough,” I declared abruptly.
She studied me with clear green eyes that were full of sympathy. Taking my hands in hers and offering simply the peaceful warmth of our connection, she said, “Please do not be angry. I am sorry for the intrusion. I did not mean to see more than you wanted to show.”
“But you did see more.”
Anamika nodded. “I saw your intention. What you’re considering is dangerous.”
