Page 193 of Tiger's Dream
Ana stroked Yesubai’s hair and phased out of time, becoming invisible, then restarted the clock.
My old self skidded over and picked up the demure and dying girl. “Dayita, my love. Don’t leave me,” he begged.
Both of us felt it the moment Yesubai’s heart stopped beating.
Why did you ask her that question? I said to Ana.
Do you mean the one about her love for you?
I nodded.
You needed to know.A part of you always wondered if she truly loved you or if she was her father’s accomplice.As the raven, I watched what happened here from your perspective.That you cared for her deeply was obvious, but you carried the hurt around inside you for a long time.You blamed yourself for her death but you also blamed yourself for not seeing the trap.
She continued,It was the self-recrimination and guilt that I swallowed as the raven.As a result, you convinced yourself that Yesubai did not love you.This absolved you, somewhat, of the disloyalty you associated with loving Kelsey.The doubt regarding Yesubai’s motives, I couldn’t take away.Until now.This is why I asked.Yesubai loved you, Sohan.We must honor her for the gift she freely gave.
Ana touched her lips to my ear and whispered,Take a moment while I tend to Yesubai’s maid.
I gave her a quick nod and she disappeared. With a snap of my fingers, time froze again. I walked around the scene, looking at each person in turn. Even Lokesh, with a crazed expression on his face, was someone I needed to consider. Heading to the great pillars where the room opened to the jungle outside, I stood on the marble steps and looked out at the trees.
This was it.
My big choice.
Was I going to go through it all again, curse myself and Ren to be tigers, or take back my mortality and embrace the young prince I was supposed to have been?
If I gave it all up, I never would have met Kelsey or Ana. If the amulet remained, then Ren and I would fight Lokesh together, maybe even win, and the Damon Amulet would forever remain in pieces. Or, if we lost, then Lokesh would succeed in taking our pieces. He’d remake the amulet and rise to power, slowly going mad in the process and destroying himself and many others as he did so.
But then there was the other possibility. If Ana was correct, then without the tiger, the Damon Amulet would cease to exist, and Lokesh would be long dead by the time Ren and I were born. If that was the case, Ren and I would be back at home with our parents right now, preparing for the next phase of our lives. Yesubai would never have been born.
I rubbed my palm across my chest. There were too many variables. I wanted Kadam to tell me what to do.But hadn’t he already? Cursing myself to tiger form was on the list. He’d purposely saved it for last, but his suggestion was clear.
Even so, both he and Ana wanted to give me the opportunity to choose. In my heart, I knew what needed to be done. Now I just needed to summon the courage to do it.
My nostrils flared when I caught the scent of jasmine and roses. “Do you need more time?” Ana asked softly.
Turning, I pulled her into my arms. “No, my lady fair. I’ve made my choice.” Ana’s gaze dropped away. “But before this happens, there’s something you need to know.”
“What is it, Sohan?”
I paused. The words were there, waiting to be said. In my heart, I’d acknowledged the truthfulness of them already, but I’d held back, not wanting to be vulnerable in such a way again. And now, here I was, ready to made a decision that would change my life forever. The only thing that remained was Ana.
Touching my fingertip to her chin, I willed her to look at me. “Before I do this, I want to tell you…”
“Yes?”
“I want you to know that I love you, Ana.” Her mouth opened in a soft gasp. “I should have said it a long time ago.”
“When…when did you know?” she asked.
“It’s hard to say. When you gave me back my memories, my boyhood crush returned in full force. I guess if you look at it that way, I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve. I regret that it took me so long to acknowledge it. As you know, I am a bit hard-headed.”
Ana reached up and stroked my hair. I took hold of her hand and turned my head to kiss her palm.
“If this is the time for confessions, then I will admit that I, too, began to grow fond of you as a child.”
“So, it’s mere fondness you feel for me then?” I teased with a smile.
“No, Sohan,” she said soberly and gripped my arms. “Fondness is the word I use to describe my weapons or my favorite horse or—what was it called?—ah, popcorn. What I feel for you has become a constant ache in my heart. During the day, I long to feel your eyes upon me and your lips on mine. At night, I dream of being nestled within your arms. It has been quite a vexing thing to experience and is most unbecoming of a warrior. You distract me from everything I am supposed to be focused on. If you would label this as love, then I believe I have a sore case of it.”
