Page 173 of Tiger's Quest
“You’re avoiding my question.”
“Some things in this world shouldn’t be uttered. It’s bad enough that one person must know of them.”
“It helps to talk, though.”
“When I do feel ready to talk about it, I’ll tell Kishan or Kadam. They’re battle-hardened. They’ve seen many terrible things.”
“I’m battle-hardened too.”
He laughed. “You? No, you are far too fragile to hear of the things I’ve experienced.”
I crossed my arms. “I’m not that fragile.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve offended you.Fragileis the wrong word. You’re too . . . pure, too innocent, to hear of those things. I won’t contaminate your mind with thoughts of what Lokesh has done.”
“But it might help.”
“You’ve sacrificed enough for me already.”
“But everything you experienced was to protect me.”
“I don’t remember that, but if I could remember, I’m sure I would still refuse to tell you about it.”
“Probably. You can be pretty stubborn.”
“Yes. Some things never change.”
“Do you feel well enough to revisit some memories?”
“We can try. Where do you want to begin?”
“Why don’t we start at the beginning?”
He nodded, and I told him of seeing him for the first time at the circus and working with him. How he escaped his cage and slept on the hay, and I blamed myself for not locking the door. I told him about the cat poem and about the picture I drew of him in my journal. The weird thing was that he remembered the cat poem. He even quoted it to me.
When I was finished, an hour had gone by. He’d listened attentively and nodded. He seemed the most interested in my journal.
“May I read it?” he asked.
I twitched uncomfortably. “I guess it could help. There are some of your poems in there, and it is a good record of almost everything we did. It might trigger something. Just prepare yourself for lots of girl emotions.”
He raised an eyebrow. I quickly explained, “We didn’t exactly get off to a smooth start romantically. I rejected you initially, then changed my mind, then rejected you again. It wasn’t the best of decisions, but I thought I knew what I was doing at the time.”
He smiled. “‘The course of true love never did run smooth.’”
“When did you readMidsummer Night’s Dream?”
“I haven’t. I studied a book of famous Shakespeare quotes in school.”
“You never told me that.”
“Ah, at last something I know that you don’t.” He sighed. “This situation is very confusing for me. I apologize if I’ve hurt you. It isn’t my intention. Mr. Kadam told me your parents are gone. Is that right?”
I nodded.
“Imagine if you couldn’t remember your real parents. You’ve heard stories of this man and woman, but they were strangers to you. They had memories of you doing things that you couldn’t remember, and they had expectations of you. They had dreams for your future, different dreams than what you might imagine for yourself.”
“It would be very hard. I might even doubt what I was being told.”
