Page 73 of Tiger's Quest
I couldn’t wait to hear what I’d be writing about. I finished my finals, which gave me something to focus on other than Ren. Mr. Kadam also made excuses at the college for Ren, saying there was a family emergency and he had to return to India. The dean seemed very understanding and willing to do anything he could to help.
After my school work was complete, I helped Mr. Kadam with notes in the early morning and then worked out with Kishan until lunch. The afternoon was set aside for weapons practice. Kishan was teaching me how to take care of the weapons and which to choose in different types of battles. He also taught me hand-to-hand combat and several ways to take down stronger opponents.
I worked with Mr. Kadam in the early evenings on my lightning power. I was now able to control the level so I didn’t destroy my targets. I could shoot a black hole through the bull’s-eye like an arrow. Or, I could hit them all at the same time and knock them over. I could totally obliterate all or just the one I chose.
It was very empowering but also very scary. With this kind of force, I could be a superhero or a bad guy, and I really didn’t want to be either one. All I really wanted was to help Ren and Kishan break the curse . . . and to be with Ren.
In the evenings, I kept to myself and read or wrote in my journal. The house felt different without Ren. I kept expecting to see him standing outside on the balcony. I dreamed about him every night. He was always trapped, either tied to a table or in a cage. Every time I tried to pull him out or rescue him, he stopped me and sent me away.
One night, I woke up from one of my Ren nightmares and got out of bed. I grabbed my quilt and headed out to the veranda. A dark head rested against the rocking loveseat, and, for a minute, my heart stopped. I slid open the door and stepped out onto the veranda. The head moved.
“Kelsey? What are you doing up?”
My poor heart fell back into a dormant state. “Oh. Hey, Kishan. Nightmare. What are you doing out here?”
“I sleep out here often. I like being in the open air and it’s easier to keep watch on you.”
“I think I’m pretty safe here. I doubt you need to keep watch over me while we’re here.”
He moved over and invited me to sit beside him. “I’m not going to let anything get to you, Kelsey. It’s my fault it happened.”
“No, it’s not. You couldn’t have stopped it.”
He leaned his head back against the cushion, pressed his eyes closed, and rubbed his temples. “I should have been more vigilant. Ren thought I would be less distracted than he was. The truth is, I was probablymoredistracted. It would have been better if I’d never gone to America.”
Confused, I asked, “What do you mean? Why do you say that?”
He looked at me. Golden eyes pierced mine as if searching for the answer to a question he hadn’t asked. He tore his eyes away brusquely, growled, and muttered to himself, “I never learn.”
I picked up his hand. “What’s the matter?”
He reluctantly met my gaze again. “Everything that’s happened to us has been my fault. If I would have left Yesubai alone, nothing would have changed. She would have been Ren’s princess, and she wouldn’t have died. You wouldn’t be in danger now. My parents would have lived normal lives. Because I couldn’t control myself, everyone around me suffered.”
I put my other hand over his, cradling it between mine. He turned his over and clutched my fingers.
“Kishan, you loved her, which I have learned was a very rare thing during that time. Love makes you do crazy things. Yesubai wanted to be with you despite all of the negative ramifications. I bet that even if she knew her life would be cut short, she’d most likely go through it all over again.”
“I’m not entirely sure of that. I’ve had a long time to think it over, and Yesubai and I barely knew each other. Our secret meetings were very brief, and I would be dishonest if I said that I haven’t suspected her of acting as a pawn in her father’s game. I don’treallyknow if she loved me. Somehow, I think that if I was sure of that, then it would have all been worth it.”
“She tried to save the two of you, didn’t she?”
He nodded.
“She wouldn’t have gone against her father if she didn’t at least care for you. I don’t see how she could have resisted you anyway. You’re as good looking as your brother. You’re sweet, and you’re very charming when Ren’s not around. If she didn’t love you, she was crazy.
“It also makes sense because in my mind the only way she could have possibly refused Ren was if she loved you. Besides, my life would have been much sadder without Ren and you in it.” I squeezed his fingers. “It’s not your fault that these things happened. Lokesh is the one who did these things, not you. He probably would have come after your amulets even if Yesubai hadn’t been a part of your lives.”
“I made a deal with the devil, Kelsey. When you do that, there are prices to pay.”
“You’re right. When you make wrong choices or bad decisions, you always have to face the consequences. But, falling in love is not a bad choice.”
He laughed self-deprecatingly. “For me it is.”
“No, agreeing to go behind your brother’s back was the bad choice, but, in the end, you chose your family. You chose to protect and stand by Ren and help him escape.”
“It was still a mistake. I shouldn’t have trusted Lokesh.”
We sat and rocked quietly for a moment.
