Page 22 of Tiger's Voyage
Phet patted my hand. “You no be troubled. Phet be of assistance tigers.”
The brothers stomped noisily into the hut a half hour later. They both greeted me politely: Kishan squeezed my hand, and Ren nodded to me from the table.
I quietly asked Kishan, “Did it work? Does he remember?”
He shook his head no and retreated to the table to help Ren quickly polish off every dish that Phet had created. Their hair was slicked back and wet. Ren had gotten all the pink stuff out.
I smirked, thinking,either that, or it had been absorbed into his brainovernight.
While the brothers ate, I thought about what Phet said.Could I really be happy with either one of them? Could Ren and I fall in love again?And if so, what would we do about our physical relationship? Would I ever beable to touch him again without inflicting pain?I’d never really considered a future with Kishan before. I was always so sure about my relationship with Ren. Now that his memories of us were gone, I didn’t know if it was even possible to get back what we’d lost.
I caught Kishan watching me from time to time as he listened to Phet. Could Kishan have been right? Was losing Ren somehow part of my destiny? Was Kishan the person I was supposed to be with, was meant to be with? Or, as Phet said, am I just supposed to choose which one I want to be with? Which one I want to make a life with? I just didn’t see how I could be happy when one of them wasn’t.
After breakfast, Phet asked to see the weapons. I dug thegada, thechakram, Fanindra, and the bow and arrows out of the backpack and handed each to Kishan, who deposited them on the table. Every time his fingers brushed against mine, Kishan smiled. I smiled back, but my happy expression wavered when I saw Ren quickly look away with disappointment.
Phet studied each intently before handing it to the person Durga had originally given it to.
“How did you know?” I asked incredulously. “How did you know the bow and arrows were mine and thegada, Ren’s?”
“Snake make clear to me.”
As if in response, Fanindra uncoiled, stuck her head in the air, hood open, and stared into Phet’s eyes. He began singing and moving his head. She started rocking back and forth as if under the spell of a snake charmer. When he stopped singing, she lowered her head and rested again.
“Ah, Fanindra declare be partial you, Kahl-see. You good woman and show consideration for her.”
He picked up Fanindra and handed her gently back to me. I pulled a round pillow over and set her in the middle of it.Huh. I like roundpillows. I wonder which man the round pillow represents.
Phet announced it was time to look into Ren’s eyes. He pulled two chairs away from the table and set them across from each other. Ren sat in one; Phet, in the other. Kishan joined me on the bed and reached out to hold my hand. Ren’s eyes darted over to us.
Phet slapped his hand. “Glimpse my eye, Tiger!”
Ren growled softly as he turned to face the old monk. Phet peered into Ren’s eyes and clucked his tongue while turning Ren’s head to several different angles as if Phet was adjusting the rearview mirror in a car. Finally, he was satisfied, and the two men froze in place for several minutes while Phet just stared. I bit my lip nervously as I watched.
After an uncomfortably long silence, Phet jumped up out of his chair.
“Can’t patch up.”
I stood. “What do you mean?”
“Tiger vastly stubborn. Block me.”
“Block you?” I turned to Ren. “Why would you block him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Phet,” I asked, “can you please tell us what you know?”
Phet sighed. “Fix it the hurting of knife and cage. Evil black at this time gone. But remembrance is jam, have trigger, only white tiger be acquainted with it.”
“Okay, to clarify, you were able to fix the PTSD, the pains, and memories of the torture? All the trauma of Lokesh is gone now? Can he still remember it?”
“Yes. I still remember it. I’m right here, you know,” Ren grumbled.
“Okay, but Phet says he took the blackness away. Do you feel differently about it?”
He concentrated. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.”
I looked at Phet again. “But his memory is still blocked? What do you mean there’s a trigger?”
