Page 68 of Tiger's Voyage
“I don’t believe you. You’ll have to do better than that. I read your wishes at the Star Festival. Remember?”
He grimaced. “I forgot about that. But you should believe me anyway. It’ll be easier for both of us that way. Kishan has feelings for you, and it would be better if you were with him.”
“You can’t tell me who to love and who not to love.”
“You already love him.”
“I loveyou, you big idiot.”
“Then stop.”
“I can’t just turn my feelings on and off like a water spigot.”
“That’s why I won’t be around anymore. I’ll avoid being near you. You’ll never see me.”
“Oh, I see. You think just not seeing you will fix everything?”
“Probably not. But it will help.”
I folded my arms and looked at him with utter incredulity. “I can’t believe you are telling me to be with your brother. It’s really not like you. Please tell me what I did to cause this.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
Ren spun around, leaned over, and placed his elbows on the railing. He didn’t say anything for a minute so I walked over near him and leaned over too. Eventually, he said quietly, “I couldn’t save you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I couldn’t. I tried to do CPR, but I became violently ill. I couldn’t save you. Kishan had to intervene, and in my jealousy and frustration I pushed him away. I almost let you die because I didn’t want him to touch you. That’s when I realized I had to let you go.”
“But, Ren—”
I reached out to touch his arm. Ren looked down at my hand and stepped away.
I stiffened and said, “I’m sure you’re exaggerating.”
“No, I’m not.” He turned away from me as if he was going to leave.
“Alagan Dhiren Rajaram, you stay right here, and you listen to me!”
He spun back to me, angry. “No.Kelsey. No! I can’tbewith you! I can’ttouchyou! And Ican’tsave you.” He gripped the railing so hard his knuckles turned white. “You need a man who can do those things. That man isn’t me. It’s been months, Kelsey. I haven’t found the trigger. I probably never will, and you’ll waste your entirelifewaiting for me! Kishan needs you. Kishan wants you. Be with him.”
“I don’t want to. I chooseyou, and I don’t care about those other things. I’m sure we’ll figure out something.Pleasedon’t push me away because of this.”
“It’s for the best, Kelsey. We know what’s best for you.”
“No, you don’t!You’rewhat’s best for me.”
“I’mnot. And I’mnotdiscussing this with you anymore. I’ve made my decision.”
“Oh! You’ve made your decision, have you? Well, this may come as a shock to you, but you don’t make decisions for me! The two of you can plan and scheme all you want, but you can’t force me to feel differently about you than I do!”
Ren’s shoulders fell and he said resignedly, “It won’t be force. Your feelings for him will come naturally, and at the same time, your feelings for me will diminish.”
“Not bloody likely!” I started panicking. Ren was serious. He had never backed off when he set his mind to something before, and I wasn’t making any headway at talking him out of this. I began hyperventilating. Tears trickled down my face. “Nothing about this feels natural. I can’t believe you’re willing to give me away.”
“Don’t be stubborn about this, Kelsey.”
I laughed wetly with sardonic humor. “I don’t think I’m the one being stubborn here.”
