Page 8 of Tiger's Voyage
“Is the need to leave a creepy feeling, like you need to run to save your life?”
“No. It’s a desperation that builds … like when you hold your breath underwater. It’s fine at first, maybe even nice, but soon it feels like my lungs are screaming for air, and it’s all I can do not to claw my way to the surface.”
“Hmm, maybe you have PTSD.”
“What’s that?”
“Post-traumatic stress disorder. It’s a condition you get when you’ve been exposed to terrible trauma and high stress levels. Soldiers in combat usually have it. Remember when you told Kishan that when you heard my name, all you could picture was Lokesh torturing you, questioning you?”
“Right. There’s still some of that, I guess. But now that I know you better I don’t associate you with him as much anymore. I can distance that from you now. It wasn’t because of you that it happened.”
“Part of your symptoms with me might still be related to that. Maybe you need a therapist.”
Ren chuckled, “Kelsey, first of all, a therapist would put me in an asylum for claiming I was a tiger. Second, I’m no stranger to bloody battles or pain. It wasn’t the first time Lokesh has tortured me. It was definitely an experience I wouldn’t want to go through again, but I know that you are not to blame.”
“It doesn’t make you less of a man to ask for help once in a while.”
“I’m not trying to be heroic about it if that’s what you’re getting at. If it makes you feel better, I’ve already started talking with Kishan about it.”
I blinked. “Has he been helpful?”
“Kishan is … surprisingly sympathetic. He’s a different man now. He said he’s changed because of you. You’ve influenced him. Brought out a side of him I haven’t seen since our mother died.”
I nodded. “He’s a good man.”
“We’ve talked about many things. Not just about Lokesh but about our past too. He told me about Yesubai and about how the two of you have become close.”
“Oh.” For a panicked moment, I wondered if Kishan had shared other things with Ren, things like maybe hisfeelings. I wasn’t sure I wanted to broach that subject, so I changed it. “I don’t want you to feel pain or suffer when you’re near me. Maybe it would be better for you to avoid being around me.”
“I don’t want to avoid you. I like you.”
“Youdo?” I couldn’t help but smile.
“Yes. I imagine that’s why I dated you,” he said dryly. He slid down to the floor and rested his back against the bathroom door. “Let’s see how long I can last. Come closer.”
Obediently, I took a few steps forward. He gestured to me again. “No. Closer. Sit on the bed.”
I got on the bed and watched his face for pain. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” He stretched out his long legs and crossed them at the ankles. “Tell me about our first date.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. It’s tolerable now.”
I scooted to the edge of the bed farthest away from him, crawled under the covers, and put my pillow in my lap. “Okay, our first date would probably be the one you tricked me into.”
“When was this?”
“Right after we left Kishkindha. In that restaurant at the hotel.”
“The restaurant? Is that the one right after I got six hours back?”
“Yes. What do you remember about that?”
“Nothing, except eating dinner for the first time in centuries in a nice restaurant with a table full of food. I felt … happy.”
“Ha! Well, I imagine youdidfeel happy. You were very smug, and you flirted shamelessly with the waitress.”
