Page 130 of Tiger's Voyage
I shot the heaviest bursts of lightning I could through my hand, and hit the fish in several places. It twisted angrily in the water, trying to get out of my reach. At the same time, I had the Scarf make a rope ladder that trailed from the railing, down the side of the yacht, to the sea, and yelled at the brothers to grab it. I kept the fish off them long enough that they could climb up.
When they were aboard, dripping and tired, I yelled at Nilima, “Get us out of here!”
I kept blasting bolts at the fish until we were far enough away that it gave up. When I felt that we were finally out of danger, I glared at both the brothers, and then ignored them and stomped up to the wheelhouse.
I shoved in the door and said, “Well, the barrier theory is a sound one. I suggest we plot a course between all those spots. When the boys show up, tell them I said they’re idiots, they’re welcome, and to leave me alone for a while.”
Nilima and Mr. Kadam said nothing. With that, I huffed out of the wheelhouse and went to my room. I locked both doors and filled the Jacuzzi for a good soak. While I soaked, I thought guiltily about the kiss.Apparently, I’m going to have to strengthen my resolve if I want to be loyalto Kishan. I can’t let Ren get me alone. I just don’t have the willpower toresist him. He’s too … too potent.Despite my self-chastisement, I ended up thinking about him the entire time. I felt a rumble. The boat was moving, so obviously we were headed for the green dragon’s lair. I sighed, opened my eyes, and stepped out of the tub.
After I dressed, I went back to the wheelhouse. Everything was quiet. The sun had gone down, and neither Ren nor Kishan was around. I found Nilima alone steering the boat, carefully following Mr. Kadam’s instructions. Grabbing a blanket, I cozied up in a nearby chair. She glanced at me from time to time, but I was totally absorbed in my own thoughts.
“You’re wondering what to do now, aren’t you?”
I sighed. “Yes. I’m wondering how to make Ren understand we can’t be together now.”
“Oh?” She shifted to look at me. “Is that what you are wondering? I was thinking you’d be wondering which one of them will make you happy.”
“Nope. That’s not what I’m wondering at all.”
“I see. So you are determined to be with Kishan, then?”
“I made a promise to him. A commitment.”
“Did you not also do the same with Ren?”
I winced. “Yes. But that was a long time ago.”
“Perhaps not so long to him.” Nilima stared ahead at the blackness.
“Perhaps not.” I studied my hands in my lap. “What doyouthink I should do?” I asked.
She stretched prettily and then settled back into her former position. “You like to write in your journal, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Then I suggest you write about both of them. Write of their strengths and weaknesses. Record what you love about them. Put down what you wish was different. It may help you to see your thoughts on paper.”
“That’s a good idea. Thanks, Nilima.”
I spent the next few days recording my thoughts about both brothers but found I had lots of things both good and bad to say about Ren, and though my list for Kishan was all good, it was also short. I didn’t feel I was doing a good job focusing on him, so I set out to spend time with him. I asked him hundreds of questions and then stubbornly recorded his answers in my journal.
I kissed him several times in a clinical way, trying to gauge my reactions to him. He seemed oblivious to my “tests” and enjoyed the kisses for what they were. Notoncedid kissing him cause the same reaction it did when kissing Ren. Despite my best efforts, I found I couldn’t duplicate the feeling from that first night either, that first kiss with Kishan, the one when Ren got his memory back. I started to suspect my reaction had not come because of Kishan at all.
One evening, I was strolling the deck with Kishan and had an idea for another test. “Kishan? I want to try something. Do you mind helping me?”
“Sure. What is it?”
“Stand right here. No, behind me. Good. Now stay there for a second.”
I aimed my firepower down at the water. White light shot out of my palm and hit the ocean. A cloud of steam rose up. “Okay, now step up behind me and pull me back against your chest.”
“Like this?”
“Yes. Good. Now lean your head on my shoulder and touch my arms. Put yours on top of mine.”
He ran his hands up and down my arms. I concentrated and pushed with all my energy, but the light didn’t change. There was no intense golden burst of power. I wasn’t overwhelmed with a sense of connection. My power fizzled and died out. I stared hard at the water.
“What is it?” Kishan asked. “Is something wrong?”
