Page 95 of Tiger's Voyage
“I sent word immediately to my young man, demanding that rose thread be delivered at once. When he arrived, I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. He hugged me back and asked me what was wrong. I explained that the emperor had made plans to marry me and that my father had accepted. I begged him to take me away, quickly, that evening. He said he didn’t think we could escape with the guards watching the palace, but he knew someone, a wizard, who he thought could be bribed to help us. He told me to wait for him, that someone would come for me that night and would wear the scarf I’d made for him. He asked me to trust him.”
“What happened?” I asked. “Did someone come?”
“Yes. An ordinary brown plow horse came.”
“A plow horse?”
“Yes. He trotted slowly to my window and neighed softly. He wore the scarf wrapped around his neck.”
“The horse wore the scarf? Where was your young man?”
“I didn’t know. I was frightened. The horse stamped his feet and neighed louder, but I stood at the window, wringing my hands. I didn’t know what to do. Should I climb out the window and onto the horse’s back? Where would I go then? The horse became more agitated, alerting an annoyed guard, who tried to shoo him away. Men were sent to take the horse to the stables, but he kicked and bit and neighed loudly. Finally, one of the head guards came out and told them to shut the horse up before it woke the emperor.
“Nothing they tried to do would settle the animal. The scarf slipped from around its neck and fell into the mud. The soldiers tromped on it and ruined the lovely gift. I cried and wondered where my young man was. I despaired thinking he’d been shot or killed on the road. They finally managed to take the horse away, so everyone could settle down for the night. My young man never came. I watched for him at the window all that night.
“The next morning the emperor came to me and had me escorted to a bathing chamber. Women bathed and dressed me in the beautiful clothes I had made, and just before I was led into the great hall, the emperor came into my chamber, sent out the servants, and closed the door behind him. ‘I have a wedding present for you, my dear.’ He handed me the scarf I’d given to my young man. It had been cleaned and pressed but many of the delicate stitches were torn. Tears fell down my face.
“‘An interesting incident occurred last night. It seems a plow horse entered the palace grounds wearing this very scarf. He made enough noise that the guards took him away and locked him in the stables. The next morning, to our surprise, we found not a horse but the silkmaker in the stall. We asked him what magic he used and why he’d come. He won’t speak. He refuses to share his reason for infiltrating my palace in the middle of the night.’
“He touched the scarf lightly to my face and said, ‘I can only assume that he came to assassinate me. How fortunate you are that your husband-to-be is safe.’
“Before I could guard my words, I exclaimed, ‘Hedidn’tcome to assassinate you!’
“The emperor tilted his head thoughtfully. ‘Didn’t he? Are you sure? You do know him better than anyone else here. Perhaps he came here for a completely different reason. Why do you think he came, my dear?’
“‘I … I’m sure he was only bringing me more thread. Perhaps he was set upon by a warlock, and he needed some help.’
“‘Hmm … what an interesting suggestion. But why would he come to you and not go to his family? Or perhaps to one of the guards?’
“‘I … don’t know.’
“‘Come with me,’ he said.
“He made me stand at the window overlooking a courtyard. My dear love was tied to a post, while a man stood nearby with a whip. The emperor raised and lowered his hand abruptly. I heard the whip snap in the air and whimpered as if I too could feel the burn of the lash as it tore the back of my love. The emperor whispered coldly, ‘Did you think I wouldn’t recognize your handiwork, my dear? You have bestowed your favor on this man.’ I cringed as I heard the whip crack again.
“‘Please don’t hurt him,’ I begged.
“‘You can stop his torture whenever you wish. Just tell me that I’m mistaken and that this young man did not come for you. That all of this is just a simple misunderstanding. And … say it loudly so that all may hear.’
“I heard the groan of the one I loved and turned to the emperor. ‘This young man—’ “‘Louder, please. And make sure everyone outside can hear you as well.’
“‘This young man did not come for me, and I do not love him! I have no wish to see him harmed! He is just a simple and poor silkmaker. I would never pledge myself to someone so common and impoverished. Please let him go!’
“My love looked up at me; his eyes burning with my betrayal. I longed to shout out that it was alie. That Ididlove him. That I only wanted to be withhim, but I kept silent, hoping to save his life.
“‘That is all I needed to hear,’ said the emperor. He shouted down to the men, ‘Put him out of his misery.’
“The emperor raised his hand and made another slashing movement in the air. The man with the whip scrambled out of the way for a line of soldiers with bows. They raised their bows and filled my love’s chest full of arrows. He died believing that I didn’t care for him, that I loved him no longer. I fell to the floor in despair while the emperor threatened, ‘Remember this lesson, little bird. I willnotbe made a cuckold. Now … compose yourself for our wedding.’
“When he left, I prostrated myself on the floor and wept bitterly. If only I had trusted what I did not understand. If I had not been such a coward, my love and I might have escaped and lived a happy life together. He had been the horse all along. He had been with me, near me, the whole time, and I refused to see it. Because I was shortsighted, I lost everything.
“Later, a kind woman rested her hand on my shoulder and dried my tears with her silken handkerchief. She said she loved my work and that my gifts could still be used to benefit others. That woman was Durga. She offered to take me away, to help me escape from the emperor, but said that I could never return to a mortal life. She picked up his golden scarf from where I’d dropped it and told me that my silkmaker would always be near, for I had sewn love into each stitch.
“So here I sit. I am Lady Silkworm. Still wrapped in my cocoon of sorrow. Stitching, always stitching. I sew to bind others, but I remain alone. I tie threads together to give my existence meaning, to have a purpose. It does give me some happiness to help others weave their lives together.” She leaned forward. “But I will tell you now, young one, without your love—life is nothing. Without your mate, you are utterly alone.” She dropped her frame and grasped my hands. “Above all else, I beg you to trust the one you love.”
She picked up my finished work from my lap. “There, now. You see? You did an excellent job.” She smiled. “It’s time for you to return. Take this with you.”
She slipped the fabric she’d been embroidering from its frame, carefully folded it, and pressed it into my arms. “But I—”
