Page 140 of Tiger's Destiny
I sunk to my knees at Phet’s feet. Tears spilled onto my cheeks. “No. No. No.” I mumbled over and over again. This was it. I was so close to getting safely home and now one of the men I loved would remain behind.
Durga took a few steps toward me, but I held up my hand and stood of my own accord. She seemed sympathetic but also a bit hopeful.
“Stay away from me,” I said. “I . . . I just can’t look at you right now.”
As she dropped her hands to her sides, my gaze flitted over to Ren and Kishan, who were talking quietly with Phet. Ren looked up and what I saw in his eyes frightened me. His gaze was full of regret and sorrow.
My hand shook as I cupped my mouth and breathed quickly.
“I am truly sorry for this, Kahl-see,” Phet said when he approached me.
“Sorry doesn’t fix it.”
“No, it does not.”
I paced back and forth, glancing from time to time at Ren and Kishan who were in deep discussion. This was what I’d always been afraid of. Ren was going to sacrifice himself. He couldn’t help it. I knew him very well. If he could spend his whole life serving the world, he would do it. He’d give up what he wanted so his brother could be happy. He was going to stay behind with Durga. He’d be a king, a god, and I’d never,eversee him again.
I couldn’t look at them anymore. I spun and headed into the trees and collapsed onto a fallen log, sobbing. My heart was breaking. Ren had been brought back from death only in time for me to lose him again.
After a while, Kishan crouched in front of me and pushed limp hair away from my stinging eyes.
“Shh,bilauta. Everything’s going to be okay.”
“How can you . . .” I snuffled loudly. “How can you say that? We’re going to . . .” I hiccupped. “Going to lose himforever.”
“Come on,” he said as he pulled me to my feet. “Dry your eyes and try to smile. It’s time to say good-bye.”
“I can’t, Kishan. I just can’t.”
“Please try.” He kissed my forehead and used his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks.
I nodded, but looking up at him and seeing his tender expression full of love and patience made my eyes fill again.
Softly, he said, “I wanted you from the first moment I saw you hiding in the bushes, Kells. The truth is I knew you were there the whole time. I laid my eyes on you that day, and I haven’t ever been able to look away since. I tried to, but . . .” he smiled as he pressed his forehead against mine, “. . . there was something irresistible about you. You were so lost and yet such a spitfire—just like an angry little kitten. I wanted to tuck you into the crook of my arm and keep you.”
“Kishan, I—”
“I know you love him, Kelsey. I’ve known since that day in the jungle when you confessed your true feelings to Saachi, not knowing it was me in disguise. If I was completely honest with myself I’d confess that I even knew before that.”
He took a deep breath and his voice trembled. “I told myself that as long as you wore my ring, as long as you wanted me, needed me, that I would be there for you. That I’d try to become the kind of man you could love. Thereislove between us isn’t there, Kells?” he asked almost desperately.
“There is,” I answered as I smoothed his hair from his face. “I could no more give you up than I can him.”
He laughed shakily and nodded. “That’s really what I needed to hear.” With a small smile, he kissed each of my hands in turn and said, “Then kiss me good-bye,bilauta.”
“What? Good-bye? What do you—”
Kishan interrupted me with a kiss. Wrapping his arms around my body, he kissed me softly, sadly. My mind swam with questions, with worries, and with confusion; but all that suddenly became unimportant as I focused on the man who loved me so much he was willing to let me go.
I placed my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Tears dripped down our cheeks. I could taste the saltiness of it. I poured all of my love and affection for this good man into the kiss. It blazed with heat and passion for a short time and then changed into something soft, something tender. When his lips left mine, they trailed over my cheeks and temple as Kishan held me close.
I pressed my hand over the heart of my black tiger and knew I’d never be the same without him.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked faintly as I sniffled.
“It’s the right thing, Kelsey.”
“I can’t give you up, Kishan. How can we be asked to make this choice?”
