Page 21 of A Little Bit Reckless
I hadn’t heard from Bru since I’d last seen him, and that wasn’t much of a conversation at all. Actually, itwasn’tone. He’d given me a death stare, and Squeak had been between us.
That moment had been weird to walk in on. Like they’d been having some intense conversation, but something I knew about Squeak was that she had a way of getting under a dude’s skin. For all I knew, she was pulling her little manipulative shit with Bru, but that (like him) was none of my business.
Nah, it was none of my business.
Bru had once again crossed a line with me. We were good friends, and he was ruining that shit.
Iwas ruining that shit.
Really needing to get high, I decided to go party myself later that night. I always knew what was going on around campus. I got what felt like a million texts a day from people asking me to appear at their parties or events. They knew if people spotted me, shit would pop off. Their parties would be the it places to be, so my DMs were constantly flooded with requests. Especially since I was basically the only one in my friend group who reallypartied anymore. My friends all got boring once they were tied down.
It made shit get lonely. I used to have Bru to hang out with.
I needed to fuck.
I didbadly, and the moment I crossed the threshold of the house I decided to appear at, I grabbed the first girl I saw. She came willingly with me, and even offered me a blunt.
I lit it as she felt me up through my jeans. We were in some bedroom in the house now, but, when she tried to kiss me, I forced her in the direction of my cock. I rarely kissed, and when I did, it was generally guys. I didn’t know why.
Trying to will my high to come faster, I zoned out. I took another hit on the blunt while the girl kissed me through my jeans. Growling, I yanked her ponytail back. “Pull me out.”
The bitch was too busy playing around.
The unzipping of my jeans hit the air when she finally got done screwing around. I just wanted her hands, her mouth. She reached in, and as soon as her clammy (cold) hands touched me, I sucked in a breath.
Fuck.
It was like I got the ick the moment her hand wrapped around me. She opened her mouth to take me in, but before she could, I shoved her away.
She fell to the floor with a thud, and her eyes flashed wide. It was the first time I noticed she was a redhead. Cool. She shook her head. “What’s wrong?”
Ignoring her, I put myself back in my pants. “I changed my mind.”
I didn’t know why, and I wasn’t even hard when I opened the door. It was like what happened in my bedroom with that guy, and really, every time I tried to fuck since then. Every time I tried to fuck, I couldn’t get hard without a lot of effort.
Noteverytime.
I hadn’t even had sex the last time I got it up, and I shook my head in an effort to get the thoughts ofwhyout. What happened in the shower with Bru had plagued me since it happened, and I didn’t want invasive shit like that playing around in my head.
I needed to get drunk.
I was doing what I usually did when I wasn’t trying to deal with something. I got high. I got drunk and partied/fucked my way out of my feelings. There were full days if not weeks of high school I didn’t remember when I went on a bender. Being stoned against one or several warm bodies was an easy way not to remember shit. It was an easy way to block out the screams of someone who needed me at the pool while I paid attention to another. While I looked for blue eyes and the feeling it felt not to see them for once. I was always aware of those eyes, so when I didn’t see them…
“I guess I’m not surprised to see you here.”
I pushed smoke through my nose, closing my brain off to more shitty thoughts, memories. Bru couldn’t have come at a better time, his voice.
The head fuck got worse when I turned around and looked at him though. When I studied how his jeans hung low, and the visible bulge he had through the dark denim. Dude wasn’t even hard I bet. He was justbig, and I knew that from personal experience.
I wet my lips. It was almost distracting how his university sweater stretched across his broad chest and hugged his biceps. Dude literally was built like Superman, and I was so fucking into Superman. Especially the last couple of castings.
The thing was, I didn’t even know Bru was into dudes before something happened between us. If I knew that, I would have come at things differently when it came to our friendship.
Nothing happened between us.
It didn’t as far as I was concerned, and Bru smirked when he caught me checking him out, sizing him up. It made me want to sock his motherfucking face in. I frowned. “What are you doing here?”
He never partied before we started partying together. He was too busy in school. He was like Squeak in that regard.
