Page 15 of The Santa Rules
“Which one? There are a lot of songs that mention him.” I throw back the rest of my beer.
“I can never remember the name of it, but you know the one about watching you when you’re sleeping and awake, knowing if you’re good or bad.”
“Ah.” I nod along as Summer continues.
“Kids grow up thinking Santa is some all-seeing omniscient presence in their lives. One year my kid decided he thought Santa was fake because how could he watch everyone all the time? Since we opted out of the elf, I told him the parents watch their kids and report back to Santa on the app, and that’s how he decides who’s good or naughty.”
“That’s genius. Wait, there’s an app?” I ask.
Bella shakes her head. “There’s not, we just tell the kids there is, but wouldn’t it be cool if there was? It could list out all the tiers, and you could customize it so whatever you told your kid, it would show it in the app like the official tier. Kids could write letters to Santa directly in the app to save paper.”
“Or they could do that if those mall Santas creep them out,” Raven adds.
“Exactly!” Bella continues. “We could have a photo section with frames where you could add Santa to your pics. Have a map to link to certain charities, food kitchens, donation centers, Toys for Tots, and angel trees. Ooh, and links to cookie recipes, or online cookie contests directly in the app!”
“Of course, we would have to have a parent section with a passcode, so you could go in and change anything you wanted to, and your kid couldn’t peek behind the curtain and have the magic ruined,” Raven adds. I get the sense she is the most practical of the group.
“And a Santa tracker!” Lucy adds.
“Ooh, and a message board where parents can share all their elf ideas!” Summer says.
“You know some of these apps already exist, right? Like the photo one and the NORAD tracker,” I say.
Their faces fall. Shit, I’m ruining another Christmas.
Bella places a hand on my arm. “Okay, Mr. Grinch. But in our app, they could all be in one place!”
Her optimism is infectious as the women continue bouncing around ideas. I let them speak for several minutes, not wanting to interrupt or bring down the vibe with my pessimism. I’m struck by Bella’s spirit, how tenacious she is. I don’t see her as the hot mess that she thinks she is; in fact, making her flustered seems to get me hard, just like that moment in the ambulance when I called her a good girl.
She’s exactly what I need to help fix my Christmas problem. I’m not clueless—I know I could google shit and figure it out on my own, but the stakes to get this right for Avery feel unbearably high. And Bella seems to love the holiday.
I need to figure out a way to spend more time with her, to pick her brain about everything Christmas, to see what she can get Avery to tell her. I want my little girl to believe again; I want some part of her childhood to feel normal, but if I ask her to tell me everything and then I do it, she’ll know it’s me and not Santa making it happen. It’s obvious I need help, someone to coach me through it, and listening to Bella share all the hoops she jumped through to make things special for her son post-divorce has convinced me that she’s the perfect person for the job.
Once there’s a lull in the conversation, I look around the group. “So, what I’m gathering is, pretty much anything you think of can become a Santa rule.”
Bella’s face lights up. “Now you get it!”
CHAPTER 5
BELLA
Iflop into the chair in the principal’s office the following Monday after school. “Are teachers allowed to date the parent of one of their students?”
“Well, that’s a fine how-do-ya-do!” she says as she lowers her bifocals and peers at me across her desk in her sternest face.
“Sorry.” I stand and act like someone is rewinding me as I walk backward to the door and try again. “Hello, Principal Adams. I would like to discuss a very important matter with you.”
“Cut the crap. When have you ever referred to me that way?”
“Sorry, Aunt Delilah.”
“That’s better. Now what can I do for you?”
“Could I, in theory, date the parent of one of my students and keep my job?”
“There is no school rule against dating a parent. Honey, this town ain’t big. Everyone’s kid goes through this school at some point, and it’d be impossible for you to date anyone if that was a rule. And it’d be impossible toenforce.”
“I’m sure Amber would help police it,” I say, rolling my eyes.
