Page 38 of The Santa Rules
As long as it doesn’t involve Isaac’s poop. I’ve seen enough of that to last a lifetime
Amen to that
I’m going to send you some ideas
Do you have a can of air freshener?
I think so
Do you have a printer and some tape? What about some treats? Usually when the elf returns, they have a note, and they bring treats
Why are there so many fucking rules?
I’m not the one who invented it! And I’m with you on the anti-elf stance. The only reason I do it in my classroom is because it’s not worth the drama to skip it
I hate this
Want to come over tomorrow and I can show you some tricks? It might be good to plan out some elf scenes, so we don’t double up
I can stop by your classroom after school tomorrow
That works, that’s safe. We won’t be tempted to strip each other down at the school. As long as we stay away from the PTO closet, we’ll be good.
Okay. I can have Isaac hang out with Avery in after-school care and we’ll make an elf plan!
Could I borrow Isaac today?
Sure!
Don’t you want to know what for?
Nah. I’m sure it’s above board. I trust you
I’m going to do the movie night for Avery
He’d love to help you get everything ready. But you need to pick up movie snacks. And supplies so you can do the elf tonight. Actually, I can send the leftover snacks from our movie night. We didn’t eat much
I seem to remember differently. I’m pretty sure you had your mouth full that night
You know, you’re right. And you did make a meal out of my cunt. We should definitely do that again
Wait, is that what the Santa emoji was before the others? You want to do that in a Santa suit?
I was waiting for you to catch on to that.
But I’ll be naked, you’ll be in the Santa suit
Jesus
An hour later there’s a knock on my door and when I open it, Isaac is peering back at me, his arms full of bags as he stands on my porch alone. “Where’s your mom?”
“She dropped me off, said she had to run an errand. Something about finding a Santa suit. I don't know.”
I usher him in the house, and he hands me a note.
Hardy,
Isaac will help you set up everything you need to make this special. Put the projector in the living room and put all the blankets and pillows you have on the floor. Make it feel like a giant bed. And let her eat her snacks in there too. I know you’re a stickler for eating at the table, but let her make a mess, even if it makes your eye twitch. (Then toss the blankets in the wash.) I promise you she will remember this for years to come. Also, there’s a separate bag for the elf with instructions in it, and I included several ideas you can use this week in case we run out of time to plan. I’ll be back in an hour to grab Isaac.
