Page 62 of The Santa Rules
“Stocking stuffing is a science, but I always recommend erring on the side of too much. Then anything that’s too big or too much can go under the tree. But don’t worry, I got you covered,” she says, as she walks over to a closet and pulls out several bags with little books and trinkets.
These are perfect for Avery, and I’m blown away by how well Bella has figured out my little girl. “How?”
She shrugs. “I saw her eyeing things when we were out the other night with Isaac.”
“But she was with you.”
“Such a man thing to say. Moms have perfected the art ofbuying their kids gifts under their noses for years. I could coach you on it, but I don’t think it’s a skill you’d master.”
I bite my lower lip and smile when her phone lights up on the table. We sit in silence as I wrap the last of Avery’s gifts, agonizing over my abysmal creases. Bella has delicate fingers, but mine are too thick and clumsy to fold the paper neatly on such tiny gifts. When I hear Bella laugh, I look up, expecting her to tease me for my shitty wrapping, but she’s still staring at her phone.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, nodding at her phone.
“Nothing, just cookie porn.” She says it so casually like I’m supposed to know what the hell she’s talking about. I blink, waiting for her to explain.
She tilts the phone toward me showing off a picture of an older woman biting into a cookie that looks like an elephant trunk, but something is off about the shape. “Is that Principal Adams?” I take the phone from her to zoom in on the cookie.
“Is that an elephant trunk cookie in her hand?”
“Looks like it.” She laughs like there’s more to the story that she’s not telling me.
“What’s cookie porn?”
“It’s just pictures of cookies we send each other. You know, like food porn, but just cookies.”
“Only cookies?” I ask incredulously.
“Only Cookies! Oh my God, that’s genius. I have to text that to her,” she says, snatching the phone back as she types furiously.
“I feel like I’m missing a punchline here.”
“Only Cookies! Like Only Fans, but Only Cookies!”
The front door swings open, and I turn my head as Bella flings her body over the table, like she’s trying to smother a fire.
“Oh good, your tits aren’t out this time,” Isaac says as he kicks off his shoes and walks toward us.
“What are you doing home? I thought you were at your dad’s until tomorrow?” Bella asks, still lying on the table.
“Why are you on the table like that? Ew. Were you guys doing it?”
I hold up my hands like I’m innocent as Bella’s protests fill the air. “What? No! We weren’t doing anything inappropriate. We were wrapping gifts, and you scared me, so I flung myself over them to hide them from you,” she says as she slowly pushes up. “But I already have your gifts wrapped, and you’re clearly not Avery, so I don’t know why I did that.” She brushes several loose strands of hair out of her face.
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much.” I laugh at my own joke, but Bella cocks her hip, placing a hand on it.
“Whose side are you on, buddy?”
“I like him,” Isaac says, offering me a fist bump as he walks to the fridge. His head pops out for a second as he looks at me. “But only if you promise to never talk about banging my mom.” And then his head is buried in the fridge again.
Bella props a hand on her hip. “So, not that I’m not thrilled that you’re here, but why are you here? Everything okay with your dad?”
He shrugs and his eyes flick to me. I get a sinking feeling in my gut at the way he’s looking at me, like he’s trying to tell me something with his eyes that he doesn’t want Bella to know.
“It’s whatever.” He grabs an apple and bites into it as he surveys the mess we’ve made on the table. “Are you done wrapping?”
“I think so.” She gathers up several empty wrapping tubes in her arms. “I’m gonna toss these in the bin outside before one of you starts a sword fight.”
Damn, I was totally going to swat her with one of those. Once the door closes behind her, I round on Isaac.
