Page 120 of Faux Real
I swallow, asking, “Have you told Sawyer?” Corrine lets out a manic laugh and tugs on the roots of her hair. “I mean you don’t have to, that’s your choice, but if you did, I think he’d be there for you—”
“No, I didn’t fucking tell Sawyer!” she screams. “I didn’t even take the stupid test yet and even if I did, it’s not his fucking problem!” Her shoulders bounce as she begins to wail. “It’s not his problem.”
I blink, lowering myself to my knees in front of her. “What... What do you mean? Did you—”
“Did I cheat on Sawyer?” Corrine wipes snot from her nose, scowling up at me. “Yeah, Kenny, I did, okay? I... I fucked up, okay?”
I frown, shaking my head. “But... But why? I thought you—”
“‘Cause that’s what I do, isn’t it? Fuck guys?!” she cries. “Isn’t that super on-brand for me? Huh? What else would you expect from Corn-on-the-Cob?”
I wince, guilt washing over me. “I’m sorry, Corrie. I’m sorry.”
“Stop calling me that!” she demands. “We’re not seven anymore, okay? You can’t call me that! You can’t call me that anymore, Kennedy. We’re not friends. We’re not kids anymore, okay? We’re not.” She pulls on her hair again. “You’re you, this perfect little angel, and I’m a slut. That’s who I am now. That’s what I’ll be remembered as. Please just go away. Please.”
I place my hand on her knee, memories of our childhood flashing before my eyes. “You’re not a slut,” I whisper. “You’re not—”
She scoffs, peering up at me. “Yes, I am, Kenny. That’s exactly what I am.”
“No,” I say, shifting my weight so that I’m sitting cross-legged. “That’s not who you are.”
“Really?” she asks, closing her eyes. “Then who I am, Ken? I’m not smart like you. I’m not funny like Max. I don’t have super-rich parents. I don’t have anything, okay? I’m nothing. I’m just someone guys want to fuck, okay? That’s all I am. And that’s okay. That’s fine. I’ve accepted it.”
Every time I’d make a snide remark against Corrine, I’d hate myself. It’s not who I am. I’ve never wanted to hurt her. I just wanted to protect myself. We all want to protect ourselves. Look strong. Worthy. Valuable. But at what cost? I fight back tears as I stare at Corrine, her face morphing into a young girl.
“Do you—” I sniffle. “Do you remember when we were ten? And that uh— that redhead from Miss Thorton’s class pushed me in the playground and called me a loser ‘cause I was reading during recess?”
“Maybe,” Corrine whispers warily. “Why?”
“Do you remember what you did?” I ask. Corrine rolls her eyes, looking away from me. “You punched her in the face.” She snorts. “You punched her in the face and told her that if she ever bothered me again, you’d get your dad to throw her ginger ass in jail.”
“I remember that,” Corrine admits. “I got detention for a month.”
“I know,” I say with a smile. “But you were protecting me. You always protected me.”
“What’s your point, Kennedy?” she asks, sighing. “Why are we taking a trip down memory lane?”
“Becausethat’swho you are,” I explain. “You’re loyal and fierce and you care about your friends.”
She snorts, shaking her head. “Maybe that’s who Iwas... but I’m not that person anymore.” She taps the pregnancy test. “This is who I am now. This is me.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” I say. “You can always—”
“Kennedy,” she interrupts me, a docile expression capturing her features. “Stop trying to change the facts. I’m not you, okay? I’m not talented or interesting or creative.” She motions down her body. “This is what I have to offer. And this is—” She glances at the test. “This is the risk.”
I frown. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say, and you once asked me if pepperoni comes from peppers.”
Corrine scowls at me. “I was like five when I said that.”
I shrug, suppressing a laugh. “See? You’re also funny.”
Corrine rolls her eyes. “No, I’m just stupid.”
“Stop it, okay?” I demand. “You’re not stupid, Corrie. You’ve never been stupid. Ever. You’re probably one of the more resourceful people I know, including myself.”
“If I were smart, Ken, I wouldn’t be crying on the bathroom floor right now,” she says, “possibly pregnant with a baby that’s not even my boyfriend’s.”
I cringe. “Why’d you do it, Cor? Why would you cheat on Sawyer?”
