Page 73 of Faux Real
“Oh,” he hums, nodding his head. He takes a step closer to me, his pungent honey-spice cologne wafting up my nose. It’s almost sickening. “Listen, I wanted to apologize to you for what Corrine said at the fundraiser, you know, about your mom—” He pauses, scanning my face with softened eyes. “That wasn’t cool.”
“You’re apologizing for her?” I scoff, irritation flaring. “That’s rich. Well thanks, Sawyer. Ireallyappreciate it.”
“Don’t be like that, KC, I’m trying, okay?” Sawyer sighs. “I know this whole situation is a bit fucked up but I don’t want us to become strangers.”
I blink. “You don’t want us to becomestrangers? Really? Whatdoyou want us to be? Huh? Friends? Because that is very unlikely.”
“We’ve known each other forever, KC, so yeah, I want us to be friends,” he says, a hint of sadness flashing across his face. “What do you say?” He smiles. “Truce?”
My eyes bug out of their sockets.
“You must be fucking high right now if you think that’s even a possibility,” I say, crossing my arms. “Youbroke up withme, Sawyer.Youdid that. So no, we can’t befriends. You lost that right when you dumped me for Corrine! Friends? Funny.”
Sawyer swallows. “KC...”
“No! Don’tKCme!” I state, my voice rising. “I’m not doing this with you right now. You made your choice, and you chose—” I let out a cynical laugh. “You chose Corrine, so go and beherfriend, okay? She can clearly offer you way more than I ever could. I’m honestly surprised you didn’t dump me sooner, little poor you had to go two whole years without sex!”
“Are you kidding me?” Sawyer asks, his jaw clenching. “Do you honestly think I broke up with you because you wouldn’t havesexwith me?”
“Oh please,” I sneer. “That’s obviously the reason. I thought you were better than that, Sawyer, but I guess I was wrong.”
“Holy shit,” he says, letting out an exasperated laugh. “You’re so fucking delusional, KC.”
“Excuse me?!”
He shakes his head, glaring at me with hooded eyes. “I didn’t break up with you because you wouldn’tfuckme,” he spits. “I didn’t even break up with you because I stopped caring about you.” He takes a step forward, looming over me. “I broke up with you because you didn’t give ashitabout me!”
My jaw drops. “Didn’t give a shit about you? What—what the fuck are you talking about? I loved you, Sawyer! How can you say that?”
He scoffs. “Youlovedme? Really? Because Ineverfelt that. For two fucking years, Kenny, you put me second. Second to everything else in your life. How many times did you cancel plans, huh? How many games did you miss ‘cause you had tutoring or extra credit work?”
“Oh my God,” I whimper, losing my damn mind. “You’re kidding, right? You dumped me ‘cause I missed a couple of your football games? Seriously? Itriedto go to every game, Sawyer, I did. Sorry my life didn’t revolve around you! I had other priorities that were a bit more important than fucking football!”
“Yeah, I know!” he growls. “And yourprioritiesbroke my fucking heart, KC. No matter what I did or said, you never put me first. Ever!”
“I tried!” I yell, clenching my fists. “I fucking tried!”
“Really? You tried?” he asks, his face falling. “Where were you when my grandpa died, huh? Where were you, Kennedy? I called you so many times! I called you and told you that I needed to see you, that I needed you!” He sucks in a long shaky breath. “And you didn’t come.”
“I came as soon as I could, Sawyer,” I whisper, hot tears collecting in my eyes as I dig my nails into my palm. “We had SATs the next day... I had to—”
“My grandpadied, Kennedy,” Sawyer breathes, shaking his head. “Hedied! You should’ve dropped everything, fucking everything, but you didn’t. You never did.”
“You don’t think I wanted to? You don’t think I wanted to be there for you?” I cry, unable to catch my breath. “I did, Sawyer, I did, but I couldn’t! You have no idea the amount of pressure I was under, no idea!”
“Yes, Kennedy, youcouldhave,” he says, his voice low. “You could’ve come to see me but you chose not to. That wasyourchoice.” He expels an incredulous laugh. “Honestly, I probably should’ve ended things that night but like an idiot, I decided to be understanding, I tried to rationalize, you know. I figured once exams were over things would get better. I even got us a room for promhopingthat we couldfinallyspend some time alone together. Just one night together where you’re not constantly checking your phone or your emails or stressing about school.” He scans my weeping face. “But you fucking shot me down, you—”
“No,” I whimper, my heart on the verge of total destruction. “I thought you got us that room because you wanted to have sex, and I wasn’t ready... I wasn’t—”
“What?” He runs a hand over his face. “We dated for two years, KC. Two! You think I didn’t know where you stood? Have I ever pressured you? Ever?”
“No, you didn’t," I admit in a whisper, my temples pulsing with dull pain. This is so fucked up. Everything is fucked up. “You— you said you didn’t stop caring about me, right? That wasn’t why you broke up with me?”
“No, it wasn’t,” Sawyer admits.
Anger spikes.
“Okay, so tell me this then.” I take a step closer to him, my blood thrumming with confusion. “How was it so easy for you to jump into a relationship with Corrine then? Huh? After everything that went down with us, how could you do that to me? If you trulycaredabout me, you wouldn’t have done that.”
