Page 63 of Bad Moon Rising
“We weren’t talking about me, love. We’re talking about you.”
“The king ordered I kill her.” Why did saying it out loud hurt more than the curse that burned his body in punishment over his conflicted goals?
Evie laid a hand on his back, rubbing it in slow, comforting circles. “You hesitated. You rarely waver once given orders. Your brothers have had issues following through in the past, but not you. You’re my dependable soldier. You step in when they can’t finish a job.”
He gripped the railing, hard. “To save them from the curse hurting them…killing them.”
“It’s why they defer to you as leader. They know you have more backbone to do the disgusting bits. It’s why your handler calls only you in to relay orders most of the time.”
“That’s not true. Sometimes they recall all of us.”Mostly me. I hate it.
“They trust you to follow through. You live by your word. Your honor, which I’m proud as hell of you for having, goes far beyond the curse. But this time, why haven’t you done it?”
He pivoted toward her. “I saw her execute one of the FenCor execs on a recording. She’s not innocent.”
“Isn’t she, though, if she doesn’t remember she did it?” His mom touched his arm. “Roman, you have a special gift to read people and their core intents. Your gut tells you the worth of a person in moments. Has it ever been wrong? Even at times when you thought it might be wrong?”
“No.”
“What did you read off her when she found you?”
“She’s one of us.”She’s exquisite and sexy as fuck and full of life. And, I never wanted anyone the way I want her.
“The reason you didn’t follow an order is because she’s one of us?” His mother’s eyebrows scrunched inward. “Didn’t you take out a lycan last year? A DiMarco brother who messed with an ancient Egyptian artifact, lost his mind, and went on a killing spree?”
Roman swallowed and leaned back against the rail to focus on the stars overhead. “I question the order because she’s…Nova.”
Evie tilted her head and let out a heavy sigh. “Answer the fucking question, Roman. Why do you question the command, now that you’ve seen she wasn’t innocent, when you rarely disobey? I know the curse is hurting you and Flynn. He hides it, but he’s in a lot of pain being around her, too.”
“Uh…” He fiddled with the edge of the railing with his fingers.
“Look at me, Roman. Be honest with me and with yourself.”
Her sharp tone forced him to make eye contact, which he couldn’t maintain for more than a moment. He sucked in his cheeks, unwilling to vocalize his reasons.
“What stopped you from killing her the second you got the official order then and every hour since? The curse has to be damaging you for delaying. You must be in a world of hurt, and for what?”
He gripped the railing tight. “When I first met her, when she found me at that club, I was shocked, but up-close with her in front of me…” He released the rail to wipe a hand down his face. “She seemed genuine. I’ve never wanted to protect something more in my life.” He lowered his voice to a raspy whisper. “She stole my ability to think.”
“Did she do some sort of magic to enthrall you?”
With a headshake, he raised his gaze to hers. “Not traditional magic. I wear four protective talismans at all times to ward off all manner of magic.”But her magic had worked to stop the curse despite the talismans.That scared the hell out of him, but in his gut, he suspected she knew as much about her magic as he did, which amounted to nothing. “Maybe it’s some sort of intra-species thing. Something about her drives me to safeguard her in a way I’ve never experienced. I’ve really never been around another lycan female other than you, but I assume my need to keep her safe is some sort of species preservation thing.”
She huffed out a frustrated snort. “Do you see Flynn falling all over himself to be with her? Or protect her?”
“He likes her, too. He’d protect her.”
“There’s a lot to like about her. But Flynn wouldn’t die for her, not like you would. He’s also not burning from the inside out to be naked with her with the full moon on the rise tonight. The serum works for him. It usually works for you.” Her voice gentled. “Flynn realizes she doesn’t want him. He knows she’s not his to have. With the one person with whom you share this kind of chemistry, it doesn’t matter what suppression serum you take. Nature will win in the end.”
“She doesn’t have her people. It’s not right to…” He blew out a shaky breath and looked at the sky again. “I can’t want her. I can’t take liberties. It’s too complicated, and it’s wrong, curse aside.”
“I have no clue where you became such a stickler for rules, especially when I know you think the Lycan Council are a bunch of dimwitted nitwads. It sure as hell didn’t come from me or your father.” She drew him into a hug. “Roman,youare her people now. We are her people. As one of her people, I say it’s okay to want her so long as you respect her needs. There’s nothing about your curse that says you can’t have a slice of happiness when it falls into your path.”
His mother’s soft smile communicated she’d accepted Nova as one of them. Sure, she might try to involve Nova in a scheme or two in the future, which he’d never allow. Hell, if his mother angled to have Nova involved, he’d likely find out about it afterward.
She opened her mouth to speak but paused as if to collect her thoughts before continuing. “Take happiness where you can, but realistically, you can’t make her your life partner. That’s going to hurt. You’re good at spouting bullshit about walking life alone, but we are genetically programmed to want a soulmate at our side. Deep down, you want her to be that person for you, but you have to be smart about this. Any long-term attachment so long as you’re bound to the Crown is stupid. If she became your mate, every evil asshole you go after will use her as leverage. It’ll double your workload and stress level, despite her ability to handle herself.”
He swallowed hard. Tightness settled in his stomach. “I’m not giving in to some sort of hormonal madness. I’m sure as hell not considering any sort of long-term.”
