Page 112 of Bite of Passage
“Which part are you sorry about?Pushing me away?Sending me somewhere that wasn’t safe?Or acting like a total asshole?”She fisted her hands; the pain of her nails biting into her palms distracting her from how much she wanted to lunge at him and bite anything she could get her teeth on.
“All of it.I was wrong.”
She crossed her arms and didn’t reply.She could barely keep up with this conversation when blood hunger rose as a red haze in her head.She pushed it away.I am not a monster.I’m starving, but I will not lose it when Skarde’s about to pour out his heart.
“I thought I had to do it to protect you.But I was protecting myself from what scared me most.”
“Which is what?Feelings?”
“I’m not good at those.It was the reality of you dying or needing to fight these evil beings.I didn’t want you near their foulness.I didn’t think you had it in you to truly kill if you had to, but then I saw you take down that witch in your house.I saw you tackle the creature and behead it with your miniature knife.Then the good witch hugged you.It was magnificent.”
“Saw that, did you, even after the portal closed?I killed a mage with your crossbow, remember?I’m fully capable of taking down scary and bad things, but …” She stared at her sneakers and shuffled.“I’m not a fan of killing.I had a bit of anger to get out after the portal closed.The witch cost meyou.”A glance up found him staring at her.“The fighting didn’t end with that one witch.Val, my witch friend, taught me a lot about magic and fighting over the past few months.She had to.Witches came at me all the time over there.”
His lips formed a small smile.“You’re a survivor.”
“The blood I had to drink over there was terrible.I never drank directly from a human, though.The thought still makes me want to vomit.”She screwed up her face.“I got prepackaged blood, which they mix with anticoagulants that make it taste awful.”She cocked her head and focused on his face, not his neck.“It sounds like you missed me.”
“I missed ye.”
She nibbled on her lip.
“I was living a goddamned nightmare until you saved me,” he rasped out.
“You were the one who saved me from Bannos.”
He stepped close to her and tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear.“No.It was you who saved me.”
Tears made her vision go blurry.
He said softly, “I was lost and didn’t even know it.Each month my life kept getting worse with more darkness to contend with and no light.Then you showed up and told me not to give up.”
“Oh.”It hurt her heart so much to hear his pain.
He licked his lips and gripped the back of his neck.“I’ve never been in a relationship before.I want one, with you, but I haven’t had any good examples of how this works.I’m going to get it wrong.The thought of something seriously hurting you again makes me nuts.It’s not an excuse for future or past bad behavior, but it’s a reality.There are a lot of awful things in this world that will come after you.I swear I’ll protect you with everything I’ve got, but I might be a total bastard to you when I do it.”
“I need for you to try to not be a bastard.”
“Tell me when I’m a dickhead.I don’t know how to protect you without possibly hurting you.What I do know is that I don’t want to lose you over it.When you didn’t come back, I realized the thing I need most is you.”He whispered, “I need you.Desperately.”
Oh, my.A tear tumbled down his cheek and that’s when she fell apart.
He went to his knees.“You’re the person I want to come home to, the person I want to call mine.My heart.My fucking soul.I knew I wanted you, but I didn’t know you were something Ineededuntil you were gone.”Raw pain carved into all of his features.
She stared at him through teary eyes.
Skarde closed the space between them and cupped her face.“I need you.Please, Gemma…” He choked on a deep breath.“Tell me you’ll stay with me.That you think we have a chance.”
Chest tight and heart pounding against her ribs she said, “I’m no relationship guru.I’ve never had one last beyond a few months.I think it was because I was waiting for you.”
He pulled her into him.“I planned what I’d say if ye came back, a hundred times in my head, but I still didn’t get it right.I’m shit at talking about feelings.”
“You did pretty well.”She squeezed him tighter.
“I feel more for you than… Well, more than I knew was possible for someone like me.This could be love.I’ve never experienced love.I didn’t have it when I was young.I never met a woman who made me feel like this.”
Gemma had spent her life scared of change, trying to help other people while hiding from her own anxiety.Yet, with him she felt safe.“I love you too.”
“You became a part of the prophecy.You are the prophecy, even if it turned out differently than I expected.The immortal burn is what I feel for you.You made me powerful by driving me to realize what I was and what I had.”
