Page 52 of Come Back To Me
“I could have been better.”
“We all can be.” I reach out to squeeze his arm. “Thank you for doing this. I haven’t even been here since we buried him.” What can I say, I’m a master liar at this point.
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters. It took me a while to come here too after I lost Sarah.” He looks off into the distance, his eyes clouding.
“Yeah. I think it takes everyone a while, and like you said, it doesn’t matter when we come, only that we eventually get here.”
“Exactly.” His eyes travel back to mine, his face hardening. “Want me to stay a little longer with you?”
I shake my head. “No. This is something I have to do alone.”
“Okay.” He doesn’t fight me on it and gives me a side hug, smacking a big kiss on my cheek.
I push him away, laughing. “Hey, save some for Glen.”
He laughs with me. “You know I love you, right?”
“Yeah. I do.”
“Good.” His features shift. “I hope you always remember that, no matter what.” He pats my shoulder and then leaves for theparking lot. I watch him, wondering if that was his way of trying to tell me something.
Sighing, I walk steadily toward Gareth’s headstone and drop to my knees. I study the teddy bear first and then lift the snow globe, my head feeling like it’s being soaked like the snow inside. It’s engraved like the other one. Same song, different lyrics. It was a gift from Arkansas. Gareth wasn’t going to give him that bag. He was given it and put it away. Kept it hidden. Something he never did with me.
I stroke the glass and then look at the wilting pink roses. They have a red ribbon tied around them—exactly like the ones Leo just left. No. It can’t be. Leo stayed with me when Gareth travelled there the first time. Was he home the second and third? I can’t remember. No. Leo wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t do that to Glen. My heart races so fast a dizzy spell comes over me. I fall lower to the ground, looking harder at the snow globe.
“I told you to forget about all this.” A voice comes from behind me and my brows jump toward my hairline.
“Gareth—”
“No need to say anything, baby. Just get up and come home with me. We’ll trash that stupid snow globe like we did the other one. The flowers and bear too.”
“Was it Leo?”
Confusion washes over his eyes. “Was what Leo?”
“The man you considered leaving me for.”
“I was never going to leave you. I lost my way for a short while, that’s it. It was stupid but . . . there’s a reason it happened, and I wish I could remember what led me down that path to begin with.”
“You grew tired of me?” My voice is strained.
His features stiffen. “What?” He drops to the ground in front of me, grabbing at my shoulders. “That’s impossible. I can’t getenough of you, so how could I have reached the point of being tired of you?”
“That’s now. You can’t even remember everything you felt before.”
“I can. I just can’t make sense of it all. It’s like having all the pieces but none of them quite fitting together due to having damaged corners.”
My eyes ring with tears, and I push him away. “I want to be alone here.”
“I’m not leaving you alone. Not when you’ve got everything wrong and plan to torture yourself with it for no reason.” He reaches for me again and I slam my fists into his chest.
“Why’d you have to write him back so many times? Why did you meet up? Why—” Bile threatens to crawl up my throat. “Why did you say you didn’t know when he asked if you loved him?”
“That I can answer. I know it’s strange, and I might not remember him, but I can recall certain moments when they’re brought up. I could tell he was hurting and didn’t want to make it worse. He wasn’t doing well emotionally. He wanted to hurt himself. I was at a loss, but ‘no’ was the first thing that came to my mind. I promise.” His eyes are so sincere, it’s hard not to want to lean into them, so I do, giving in when he wraps his arms around me.
“I love you, Riley. I love you. I choose you. I came back to you and would have no matter who cast the spell.”
Like all the other times, I want to believe him, and because it hurts so much not to, I let myself. And it’s like I set myself free when I do. He’s right about Arkansas being better off forgotten. He’s not the one in Gareth’s arms right now. He’s not the one being carried to the car and having him reach for his hand as soon as we’re strapped in. He drives us home and lifts me up when we get there, not caring who’s watching. Growing carelessfrom not wanting to leave his arms anytime soon, I let myself not care either.
