Page 54 of Come Back To Me
“Yeah, and I couldn’t do it anymore. I guess I didn’t realize it was bad until . . . until it started to cross the line.”
“You remember everything now?”
“No. But I’m getting there. Two or three more brains and I—”
“Oh my god. Listen to yourself. Brains. I can’t do this anymore.” He scratches at his head, spinning in circles. “I can’t. I can’t.”
“How many times are you going to say that to yourself before you realize you’ll never truly mean it.”
There are shouting voices in the front yard, sirens roaring, and I usher Leo into the house before tugging him out the front door. We appear to be in shock when glancing over at the fire, and I wrap my arms around him, taking us to the sidewalk.
“You two know what happened?” a man in a police uniform asks.
“No,” I say firmly. “We were in the shower, and when we got out, we saw the fire from our bathroom window.”
The cop nods. “I’ll need you two to stand back further until we can put the fire out. I don’t recommend going back to your house for anything right now. Are there any other people inside?”
I shake my head. “No. Only us.”
“Good. What about your neighbor? Is it only the older gentleman?”
“Yes,” Riley answers first. “Mr. Mendez lived alone.”
“That’s all the questions we have for now. I’ll come find you two again if I have any more.”
“Sounds good,” we say in unison and Riley leans back against me.
“I’m sorry,” he says in hushed tones, tears gathering in his eyes.
“I know, sweetheart. Me too. I’m sorry I can’t be perfect for you while alive or dead. I’ll try. I’ll keep trying.”
Letting out a deep breath, he nods. “I know. I’ll try too. I’ll try to understand what you need now and not wait too long again before helping you get it.”
I kiss his cheek, and we watch as the fire slowly dies down from all the trucks hosing it down at the same time. It doesn’t reach our house. Some smoke damage sticks to our fence, but that’s the most we experience on our side, aside from the awkward silence that stays between us until it’s time for Riley to get ready for his party. They found the candles and are already ruling it as an accident. No one’s questioning it, and his sister doesn’t care enough to order an autopsy. I guess she hated him too.
“You sure you want to go out after everything that’s happened?” I hear his friend Leo ask in the living room.
“I’m sure. I need to get out of this house. I don’t want to smell that smoke smell any longer than I have to.”
“You’ll stay with Glen and me then.”
“No. I don’t want to put you two out.”
“You won’t,” Leo reassures him. “We can always decide later.”
“Yeah. That’s probably the better choice.”
They don’t talk anymore, and Riley doesn’t come into the bedroom to tell me goodbye. I send him a text, telling him if he needs me there, I’ll find a way. He doesn’t respond. My stomach sours. Things were so much easier when I was too numb to experience any emotions. It’s because of him that I feel so fucking much, and now he’s acting like he feels nothing.
Seventeen
Riley
My stomach is tight, my heart feeling trapped in my throat as I follow Leo to the line for the beer keg. I brought two bottles of Grey Goose and wasn’t in the mood to drink them when we left them in the kitchen. I pull down my hat, messing with the yellow sunflower glasses.
“You okay?” Leo’s eyes dip.
“Yeah. I’ll feel better after having a drink.”
