Page 10 of Winning with the Mountain Man
Carina
I closed my door,flicked the lock, and spun around, the tears flowing as I sank to the floor.
The man I’d fallen hopelessly in love with wasn’t the man of my dreams.
Children were something I couldn’t compromise on. I’d wanted to be a wife and mom since I was a little girl, and it was something I very much still wanted. How could I give that up?
Nor should I have to.
I cried myself to sleep. I shouldn’t have let things move so quickly without learning everything about him first. How could love happen in the blink of an eye with so much to still learn about the other person?
The next day, with bloodshot eyes, a messy bun, and a swollen face, I dragged myself into the garden center.
“Are you okay, honey? Bad night?” My father, Greg, came up beside me and offered a hug. A gentle soul, so patient and caring, my mother’s feistiness never slowing him down. I strived to bemore like him, but my loudmouth often got me in more trouble than it was worth.
“Yeah, something like that.” I leaned my head on his shoulder.
“If you want to talk about anything, I’m here.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
I kept to myself the rest of the day, ignoring Lucian’s endless badgering, Journey’s curiosity, and Mom’s worriedness. Hudson didn’t come by in the morning for his usual order, and not seeing him made me sick to my stomach. He always came, at least once a day, if not more.
It was all my fault.
“C’mon, sis. What happened? You look like death, and Hudson hasn’t come in all day.”
“Nothing. I told you that at lunch.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Okay.” I shrugged and focused on watering my plants. At least they kept quiet and didn’t nag me.
“Carina, nothing is solved by holding it inside. When you’re ready, come talk to me. But if he broke your heart, I’m going to beat his ass.”
I chuckled, the first hint of a smile all day. “He didn’t.”
“Okay, if you say so.” Journey smiled, empathy radiating off her. She turned to go, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a hug.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I know how you feel.”
“I know. I know you do.”
Later that afternoon,I drove home from work, bummed Hudson never came in and dreading my long night of loneliness ahead. Before Hudson, it wouldn’t have bothered me, a quiet night in with Sunny or my sister or brother stopping by for a quick visit.
But now…now it was like a piece of me was missing. A hole that grew bigger all day until nothing but an empty shell was left.
More tears, tears I’d held in all day, poured down my cheeks, hot and furious. When I pulled into my driveway, my empty, quiet cottage seemed cold, and I debated leaving, hiding out in my parents’ finished basement, or bugging Journey or Lucian. But the thought of questions kept me here along with the thought of sliding into my pj’s and climbing into bed.
Sunny greeted me at the door, and I lifted him into my arms and snuggled him close, his purrs loud. “Hi, buddy. You ready to eat and then cuddle?”
I fed us both some dinner—him a can of cat chow and me a tasteless TV dinner I barely picked at. When I couldn’t stand to look at it anymore, I threw it in the trash and made my way upstairs and into my bedroom. I changed into my pj’s, closed my blinds and curtains, and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over my head.
Sunny joined me minutes later, meowing until I let him slip beneath the covers. I cried softly into his fur, the pain in my heart like a knife that kept twisting in deeper.
I drifted between fits of sleep and crying when a chime sounded through the house, a distant ring in my dreams.
