Page 118 of One Night Only
“It just…” Declan trails off, exhaling loudly. “Explainssomuch.”
“Shut up.” I laugh, hiccupping slightly.
“I mean between that and your parents—”
“Ugh.” I press the heel of my hands under my eyes and take a deep breath. I can feel him watching me. “I think I was just…convenient for him. Like he had to be with someone so why not me.” I sniff. “But I was never his long-term plan. And as soon as I told him he was mine he told me the truth. I suppose it’s better that he did it then rather than later when we were…” What? Living together? Married? Our lives entangled to the point of no return so that a healthy break was impossible? There was nothing healthy about Josh Lawson breaking up with me. Nothing healthy about getting your heart broken. I shut down completely after it. Swore off relationships and never looked back. “Do you want to know the worst part?”
“That wasn’t the worst part?”
“I’m pretty sure he was cheating on me. Or thinking about it orplanningit or…” I trail off with a sigh.
“How do you know?”
“He got married last year,” I say. “At least according to his Facebook, which Annie still has access to. His wife… She moved into the apartment next to him a few weeks before we broke up. We actually had dinner with her once. Can you believe that?” I want to groan just thinking about it. What an idiot I’d been. How trusting, how…naïve. “They weren’t even together for as long as we were when he proposed. And now they’re married. Just like that.” I knock my head back against the seat, wishing I had a drink. “Do you ever think about things like that? How you’re just some blip in someone’s life?”
Declan scowls. “You’re not a blip.”
“I’m an ex-girlfriend. I was like his practice wife.”
“That’s insane. If you’re a blip than he’s a blip.”
“Maybe.” But he doesn’t feel like a blip. He still feels like everything some days. He still hurts.
“Is that why no second dates? Scared you’ll meet another Josh?”
Or that I won’t recognize him if I do. It was the same with my mom. It’s the people who you least expect who can hurt you the most.
“Maybe I’m just waiting for the right person,” I say, trying to sound casual.
“So youarea romantic.”
“I’m a realist.”
“A Pisces,” Declan says, snapping his fingers. “I knew it.”
“I’m a Scorpio.”
“Pisces is the only one I know.”
I ignore him, but I’m relieved he’s not delving any deeper into one of the worst moments of my life. Like he knows I want to move on.
“So,” he says as I wrap the strands over the back of the chair. “Only child. Divorced parents. Love of your life broke up with you the moment you revealed your true feelings. What else you got?”
“We’re playing this game again?”
“It’s my favorite one.”
“Well, I think it’s your turn,” I say. “Did you always want to move to New York?”
He shakes his head. “I never thought about it. I was living in Dublin, working at a restaurant group when Harry rang and offered me the chance to come over here. I couldn’t think of a good enough reason to say no.”
“You didn’t have anyone back home?” It’s a personal question, a probing question and I regret it as soon as I ask, especially as Declan goes quiet. “You don’t have to answer that.”
“It’s fine,” he says. “It was just me at the time.”
“And do you think you’ll move back to Ireland?”
“I have no idea.”
