Page 152 of One Night Only
She clears her throat. “Do you know if—”
A phone buzzes once from her bag, cutting her off.
“Sorry,” she says, diving for it. “It’s the hospital.”
“The hospital?” I ask faintly.
“Oh, I’m fine. I work there. I’m a pediatrician.”
Of course, she is. Why wouldn’t the tall, beautiful woman also be a highly trained medical professional? Achildren’sdoctor. The most heroic of the doctors.
“It feels like I’m always on call these days,” she mutters, typing something into her phone. “Even when they know I’m not.” When she’s done, she throws it back into her bag, tugging the tote over her shoulder.
We look at each other for a beat.
“I’m going to go,” she says firmly. “I’ve signed everything I need to sign but tell him to get it looked over properly to be sure. I’m sorry for barging in and ruining your morning.”
I nod before I realize what I’m doing. “No, that’s… You didn’t.”
“You’re kind,” she says and an almost pained expression crosses her face. “I get why he… Anyway.”
She leaves the folder on the counter and takes one last look around the apartment. “I see he’s finally gotten out of his art phase.”
“What?”
“You know. All those stupid museum prints.”
I stare at her. I have no idea what she’s talking about. And to my embarrassment, I see the moment she realizes it.
“Right,” she says awkwardly. “Well. I’ll let myself out. I’m sorry again.”
And then she’s gone.
The room is deadly silent without her. I don’t move. Ican’tmove. My mind is blank, my thoughts are… I force myself to stand, my body light as I stare at the new addition to the counter.
The manila envelope is thick but worn as if she’s taken it in and out of her bag. As if she’s handled it a dozen times. Next to it is a thin sheet of folded paper. I nudge it open, glimpsing her scrawled handwriting before I realize what I’m doing and step back.
Her letter.
She wrote him a letter.
Of course, she did. Why wouldn’t she? No matter what Declan said, the fact remains that they’ve known each other since they were fourteen and I’ve known him for…three months?
Is it only as long as that?
What’s it going to be like if I go any further? What’s it going to be like if I let myself actually…
God, I can still smell her perfume.
I collapse onto the sofa. My little serenity bubble has burst, the happiness I felt not twenty minutes ago replaced by a gnawing anxiety. How the hell do I compete withthat?How do I…
My eyes drift to her water bottle on the table and the faint lipstick print she left on it.
And suddenly I know. Iknowthere’s no way this ends with me. It’s like I’ve just become a side character in my own life. The only thing that will happen is that I’ll get my hopes up. My hopes up and my guard down. And even if he doesn’t mean to right now, even if he doesn’t want to hurt me, he will. He’ll go back to her. How could he not? And I’ll be tossed aside. Just like I was with Josh. Just like Dad was with Mom.
I stand so quickly my head spins and yet I’ve never seen anything clearer. I put on my sandals and tie my hair back, not waiting for it to dry. It takes only moments to gather my things and then I grab the envelope and shut the door behind me.
* * *
