Page 116 of The Rebound
I squirm as his hand slips under my tank top, caressing my stomach, and I’m trying to decide whether I want him to move up or down when he breaks away without warning, leaving a gust of cool air in his wake. I open my eyes as he pushes himself up, and I go to drag him back down when the hazy, horny fog in my brain clears and I realize what Luke already has.
Public place. Very public place. Very public family place on a Saturday afternoon.
And we’re halfway to…
“Bad idea,” he says, his voice hoarse.
Very bad.
I nod and he helps me sit up, brushing the pine needles from my clothes. My movements are clumsy, my limbs heavy as if I’m moving through water. I don’t even want to think about what my hair looks like.
Luke pulls up the strap of my tank top, his breathing still disjointed.
“Did I seduce you with my brazen display of skin?” I ask, my voice a little shaky.
“You started it,” he reminds me. “In fact…” He pulls the fabric of his T-shirt around, showing me a small tear. “You literally tried to rip my clothes off.”
“That was the log,” I lie. “The bark can be very sharp. You should be more careful.”
“I’ll remember that next time.” He pulls a stick from my hair and then pushes himself off the ground, helping me up until we’re back in our seats. Only this time with no space between us. This time with our arms pressed against each other and his hand holding mine.
25
There should have been a natural ending to the day. An expected ending even. But it’s so sunny we stay longer than we mean to, and by the time we get back to his apartment it’s dark and I’m tired and hungry and a little sunburned. Luke picks up Chinese food for dinner, which we eat on his couch, and even though it’s technically only eleven p.m. both of us are tired and at least one of us is bloated from said Chinese food, so we settle silently for making out on his bed until we fall asleep, fully clothed.
A routine begins.
It’s a strange one.
I leave early on Sunday before Beth arrives because that feels rude and return that night for more kissing and talking and touching. Just no sex. Even though we’ve both made it clear that’s where we want this, whatever it is, to go. And it’s not that we don’t get close. Various clothing items are removed, bodies moderately explored, but there always comes a moment when we both stop. As if taking the final step means either ending what we have or having another more serious conversation that neither of us is ready for.
It continues the Monday and Tuesday night and it’s only on Wednesday when we’re drinking coffee downstairs when Beth asks Luke how the studying is going that I realize he hasn’t touched a book in days. Furious with myself, I stay away, ignoring his protests that he’s basically done it all anyway.
“You’re so close to the finishing line,” I tell him as he drops me back to the house. “And I’m distracting you.”
“It’s a very nice distraction.”
I agree. But a distraction nonetheless. I stay away that night and the two after that and by then it’s the weekend and I haven’t seen him in two days and I’m going out of my goddamn mind.
“You look skittish.”
“What?” I glance at Rory who’s watching me suspiciously.
“Like a cat,” he says. “A skittish cat. Are you on drugs?”
“No.”
“If you’re on drugs, you’ve got to share with the whole class.”
“I’m not on the drugs. It’s the solstice. I’m reflecting on my Celtic ancestors.”
“Who all definitely took drugs. And I thought you marked the sunset on thewintersolstice,” he adds grumpily. “Not the summer.”
I gaze out at the hundred or so people gathered around the edge of the village. “I think you mark the sunset when the rest of the country marks the sunrise and you can’t compete with them.”
“But the tourists are confused.”
They are. I watch Andrew try to herd a family of increasingly skeptical Americans over to the designated prime viewing spot (the back of Dessie’s truck). But he’s done his best. Fairy lights and ribbons hang from the trees bordering the western side of the village and the local trad band plays the old favorites as we wait for the ceremony to start. It’s a perfect day for a solstice party, for any party, the sky clear and a hazy soft yellow as the sun begins to set.
