Page 122 of The Rebound
“Even more teasing.” He steps forward, catching one of my hands in his. “We don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to,” he says, and I’m distracted by how his fingers play with mine. “It can just be us for now. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I mean it. I don’t mind.” And I don’t. Now that Beth has given us her blessing I don’t mind who knows about us.
Luke’s gaze grows warm as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. “You want something to drink?”
“No.”
“Something to eat?”
I shake my head and he reaches for my other hand. The light he turned on is not enough to counter the slow darkness as the sun begins to set and outside I can hear the muffled voices from the party, the soft sounds of a fiddle.
“You should really be studying,” I say, my voice thick.
Luke ignores me, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. “I used to have a crush on you,” he says. “When we were kids.”
“Louise told me.”
“She knew?” He smiles faintly. “Of course she did. I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone knew.”
Everyone but me. I’d been so focused on getting out of Clonard I hadn’t even looked around to see what was here.
“When I realized it was you at that bus stop I couldn’t believe it,” he continues. “And Mam kept saying what a nice coincidence it was but it never felt like that. It felt like…”
Fate.
A small word for something that feels so big.
He stares down at me, suddenly serious. “I am really, really sorry for everything that happened to you, Abby. I mean that. I wish it hadn’t. But a shitty, selfish part of me is also really glad that you came home. Even if you didn’t have a choice.”
“I think I did,” I say. “I think it was my first choice. Deep down, I knew I would feel safe here. I just didn’t want to admit it. I was used to being on my own.” Because that’s how I always was. In competition with everyone else whether they knew it or not. Even at school, I drew away from everyone. I put my head down to get through my exams, to leave them all behind. It was the same in college and then at MacFarlane, where we were pitted against each other, fighting for projects and clients. To rely on anyone but yourself was almost like a weakness. Even with Tyler, I was alone. I was just so used to it by then, I didn’t think to question it.
I touch the side of Luke’s face and he lets out a breath. “I’m glad you came home too,” I say. I let my finger drift downward, my eyes following as I trace his jaw, his neck. When I reach his shoulder, Luke bends his head, his nose grazing mine briefly before he kisses me.
We stay like that for a while, gentle and unhurried, our hearts half open to each other. There is more to say, but for now, this is enough and I’m beginning to think that nothing will happen tonight, that we’ll fall asleep as we usually do, one of us pulling away before it can go too far, but instead we continue to stand. Stand and kiss until every part of me grows loose and languid, until the music outside stops and the voices fade away and Luke sweeps a hand across my back, pulling me into him, and we’re lined up so perfectly I gasp.
I blink my eyes open as Luke pulls backs, his lips parted, his breathing heavy. My entire weight is pressed against him, leaving me slightly unstable in my heels. In the dim light of the apartment our eyes meet and I still at the sudden ache in my chest, a feeling that wasn’t there before.
“What?” he murmurs.
But I’m too scared to voice it. I don’t know how to. The sudden thought in my head, in my soul, that I won’t even admit to myself.
So instead I do what I can to show him. I rise on my toes and kiss him for all he’s worth. He’s almost hesitant at first, as though waiting for me to stop, to slow down, but I don’t. I kiss and I kiss until kissing isn’t enough.
“Up,” I mutter as my fingers find the hem of his T-shirt. He catches my eye for an instant before he complies, reaching behind his head to pull it off in one swift movement.
“Your turn,” he says, and there’s no time to be seductive as I bunch the material at my waist and bring it over my head. I can’t help how I suck my stomach in, how I straighten my shoulders as I dump the dress on the floor, but Luke doesn’t look, just continues to hold my gaze. His hands return to my hips, tracing patterns in the skin above my underwear and after a second I start to relax, my body loosening once more under his touch. Only then does his attention drift downward and I watch, fascinated as a muscle jumps in his jaw.
“Abby?”
“Yeah?”
“Keep the heels on.”
He doesn’t let me respond before he’s all over me, crowding me until he’s all I know. I’m not even aware of us moving until suddenly I’m on the bed, the sheets cool and fresh beneath me. I scoot into the middle, not taking my eyes off him as he follows but when he reaches for me, I move so I’m on top, a position he seems more than happy with. For now.
“This is what I wanted to do to you before,” I say, dragging my hands down his chest. “I wanted you so badly that night I saw you outside. More badly than I think I even realized.”
I lean down to kiss him, tracing his muscles as I slip my tongue into his mouth. I stay there for only a second, ignoring his low noise of protest when I stop.
