Page 124 of The Matchmaker
I think I get it now.
I don’t want to, but I do.
I get why Callum followed this man around for so long. I get the look in his eye whenever he talks about him, a begrudging kind of respect for the man, even if he disagrees with his actions.
Jack Doyle is good in an emergency. That stoicism andI know what I’m doingattitude that I wanted to rip apart before is now what’s keeping me from having a panic attack right there in the passenger seat. He doesn’t bother with small talk or any talk for that matter for the rest of the ride, breaking the silence only to check in with Granny and make sure she’s lucid.
He switches on the radio at some point, and I can only sit there as they talk about traffic jams and politics in between pop songs. It baffles me how the world can keep turning. How other people can keep continuing as normal when my world has been brought to a sudden, terrifying halt.
By the time we get to the hospital, I’m a wreck. Exhausted and emotional. I don’t know whether I’m hungry or thirsty or both. But I’m too stressed out to figure it out as I sit in one of the hard plastic chairs and fill out all the details, my hands moving automatically across the page with all the information I’ve memorized over the years. Because despite my panic, I’ve prepared for this moment. I know all her security information, I know her medical history, I know her GP and her medical team, and I know which medications she is taking and the dosage of each. I know the side effects, even the ones she tries to hide from me.
It takes a very long time to answer all their questions, but it feels even longer once they leave me alone in the waiting room. Jack disappears, which I’m not surprised by, and I think I must zone out because the next time I’m aware of my surroundings, a nurse is standing in front of me and showing me the way to the ward.
It’s quieter than I expected, even though it’s visiting hours. Many of the beds have curtains drawn around them for privacy, but I can hear people talking on the other side, and I find myself absurdly grateful that she’s not in a room by herself. I know she’d prefer to be alone, but I’m desperate for her to be around people. To know that if I can’t always have eyes on her, other people do.
I’m led to the last bed in the room, one underneath a small window where my grandmother sits, propped up by a mound of pillows, waiting for me.
Despite my concern for her, I’ve never thought of Granny as frail before. Not once. She made up for her diminishing strength with sharp eyes and a sharper tongue, and had always seemed larger than life to me.
But she looks frail now. Frail and tired and very, very small.
“Nice to see you’ve made an effort for once.”
I glance down at myself, almost surprised to see the pink skirts billowing over my knees. I’d forgotten I was still wearing the dress.
“You should have changed,” Granny continues, sounding disapproving. “You’ve probably torn it.”
“That’s what you’re…I was in a rush to get here,” I protest. “Because I was saving your life.”
She just huffs. “I wasn’t going to die.”
“You fell! You could have hit your head!”
“But I didn’t.” She’s still looking askance at the dress. “You’ll need to get that dry cleaned, you know.”
“I know,” I mutter, suddenly horribly aware of the thing. I must look like I stepped out ofCarrieor something. I adjust the straps and take a seat in the chair beside the bed, placing the jumbo crossword book I got her in the gift shop on the nightstand.
Granny doesn’t even spare it a glance. “Are you alright?”
“AmIalright? You’re literally lying in a hospital bed.” I scoot closer, feeling less worried and more annoyed as each second passes. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” she says, but she looks a little embarrassed. “It was my own fault. Susan left and I was getting Plankton his breakfast. I was only wearing my slippers and I slipped and fell. It happens.”
“It shouldn’t happen.” The last time itdidhappen, Granny hurt her hip so badly that she almost needed to get it replaced. “I should have been there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I should have,” I say. “Blackouts are dangerous.”
“It happened in the morning,” she huffs. “It was broad daylight, and I slipped on the kitchen floor. I’m an old woman. Ithappens. I’m alright now, aren’t I?”
She is. But what would have happened if I hadn’t swung by the house first? What would have happened if Callum and I had gone straight to Kelly’s or decided to stay longer at his? She could have been lying there for hours with no one to help her.
Just the thought of it makes my eyes sting and Granny sighs at the sight, reaching for my hand.
“You can’t look after me twenty-four hours of the day,” she says, her voice softening. “In fact, I don’t want you to. We’d kill each other.”
“We’ve managed so far,” I say. “And we could always—”
