Page 107 of Snowed In
And I realize at once what this is. “You think I’d tell them about you and Natalie breaking up?”
“I know you don’t think much of me. But just know it would probably hurt her more than it would hurt me.”
“I would never,” I say, shocked he’d even think that. “Hang on, you think I want tohurtyou?”
“Oh, come on, Megan. Is that not why you came back?”
My eyes go so wide they start to hurt. “I came back because Mam asked me to. I came back because my brother flew halfway across the world. I came back to spend Christmas with my family. Not to see you. I was doing everything I could toavoidjust that.”
“I didn’t—”
“Not everything I do is about you!”
“Alright,” he says. “Jesus. Lower your voice.” His eyes skip back up the path, but there’s no sign of anyone else. “I’m sorry,” he says. “But can you blame me for being suspicious after what you put me through?”
And there it is. I stare at him as the real Isaac starts to peek through. The one I knew. The one I…
“What I put you through?” My voice sounds separate from my body, like I’m listening to someone else speak.
“Running from our wedding?” he reminds me, a hint of sarcasm peeking through. “Embarrassing me in front of our family and friends? You didn’t even leave me a note.”
“I didn’t need to leave a note. You know why I left.”
“Because you wanted to make a point.”
“Because I couldn’t stand you.” And the quiet venom in the words is enough to freeze him to the spot. “Because I didn’t love you. Because you’re a manipulative asshole, and if I’d stayed, I would have been miserable.”
He just looks confused now. “What are you talking about?”
“You took away my dream job,” I say, and surprise flickers across his face. Surprise that makes mefurious. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? You emailed themas mepulling me out of consideration, and you didn’t think I’d notice? You really thought you’d just get away with it?”
His expression smooths into a blank kind of calm that I remember all too well.Don’t be silly, Megan. Don’t be ridiculous.
Calm down, Megan.
Calm down.
“I told you I was going to—”
“No,” I say, my voice like a whip cracking through the air. “Don’t you dare try and change what happened. Not now. Don’t youdare.”
“We’d discussed it,” he says, his voice low and earnest. “We decided to—”
“Wedidn’t do anything. You discussed it. You decided. I said I wanted to give it a go.”
“You would have had to move to Dublin.”
“I wanted to move! I wanted to try it! You were the one who didn’t want to go. You wouldn’t even consider it. I would have been three hours up the road, but you acted like I was moving to Siberia. Like I was leaving you.”
“You had a job here.”
“That I didn’t give a shit about! And you knew that. You knew I was unhappy, but you didn’t care. Because I always had to be the one to follow you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is.Yourcollege,yourapartment,yourjob. I had to mold my entire life around yours, and I couldn’t go to the pub with my friends without running it by you first. I couldn’t turn my phone off during a movie because I had to be in constant contact with you, and God forbid I didn’t answer your text in five minutes, or you’d call me. I couldn’t even wear this coat because you didn’t like it and I love this coat. Iloveit.” I jab my chest so hard it hurts, but I ignore the pain. I ignore everything but the man in front of me and the gall he has to still look me in the eye.
“I didn’t know any better because that was all I knew,” I say. “Because you told me you loved me, and I believed you. So did everyone else. You put on this face for your family and your friends, but you’re not like that at all, are you? You’re controlling, and needy, and youlie,and you never listened to me. You never even knew me, and I—”
