Page 124 of Snowed In
She shrugs, her shoulders dipping in and out of the water. “I watch a lot of medical dramas. And I once dated a guy who ran first aid courses.”
“Is this where you tell me you used to practice CPR on each other?”
“I’m really good at wrapping gauze. I have a little kit.”
“You have a gauze kit?”
“Of course, I have a gauze kit. I also dated a sommelier.”
“Is this how you remember the men in your life?” I ask. “Occupation?”
“They all kind of blur into one otherwise. I had a type.”
“Dare I ask?”
“Blonds,” she says. “Bearded.”
I raise a brow. “I am neither blond nor bearded.”
“I’m aware. You’re my type breaker.”
“I’m honored.”
“That was when I first moved to Dublin, though. I was very different.”
“Hornier.”
She smiles. “Maybe. But I was also just…” She trails off, growing thoughtful. “Remember when I said I wasn’t ready for a relationship?”
“Extremely.”
“Well, that was all I wanted back then.”
“Of course it was,” I say. “It was all you knew.”
She nods, growing more confident. “I guess it never occurred to me to try being alone,” she admits. “Even though I had no idea what I was looking for or what I even wanted. I never met anyone who lasted more than a few weeks,maybea few months, and it got to the point where I thought something was wrong with me. Like I’d messed myself up somehow.”
“But you worked through it?”
“I went to therapy,” she says. “For as long as I could afford it. And it helped. At least with that part of everything. I stopped defining myself by my connection to other people, and…sorry, it sounds so cheesy when I say it out loud.”
“It’s not,” I tell her, and she purses her lips.
“I learned that I needed to find myself before I could find someone else.”
“And did you?”
Her smile slips back. “Yeah. Turns out I’m great.”
“I could have told you that,” I say. “What else?”
“That I like my job. Do you know how many people don’t like their job? I love my job.”
“I know you do.”
“I like to make things. I like giving gifts and swimming in the sea. I like living in the city and meeting new people. I like that I don’t know where I’m going to be in the next five years. I like that I try things even if I’m scared to.” She pauses. “Especiallywhen I’m scared to.”
“And…”
