Page 16 of Merrily Ever After
“You were half in love with me?”
She looks lost for precisely one second and then so horrified it would be funny if it didn’t feel like she held my heart in her hands. “What?”
“You said you were half in love with me.”
“It’s an expression.”
“Yes,” I say. “Of love.”
“Of acrush,” she stresses. “I had a crush.”
“On me.” She frowns and I hold up my hands. “I’m just making sure of things.” And trying not to lose my mind. “Idid show interest,” I continue, doing my best to sound calm. “I flirted with you.”
“You flirt with everyone.”
“Yeah, but I don’t decorate their houses for Christmas, do I? I don’t spend my Friday nights as a twenty-year-old helping them memorize medical textbooks. I let you practice taking blood from me. Which you were bad at, by the way. I had bruises on my arm for weeks.”
“You have small veins.”
“I have excellent veins. You were just shit at phlebotomy. Yes, I remember doctor stuff,” I add when her brows rise. “We basically read the same books. I should have been given an honorary degree.” I rub a hand down my face, trying to keep my thoughts from spiraling. I’m not sure what’s happening right now. But I know that all she needs to do is get up. Go to the bathroom. The kitchen. Anywhere. She just needs to turn away from me and I’ll never bring it up again. Because if we keep talking like this, I’m going do something stupid like profess my ever-undying love for her and then that’s goodbye friendship. It was nice while it lasted.
But she doesn’t do any of those things. She just stays there. Watches me.
Waits. Like she can’t believe this is happening. Like she’s just as confused as me.
“I never made a move when we were younger because you were usually dating someone, and I’m not a dick,” I say. “Then I thought I was reading the room. I thought you didn’t feel that way about me. And I respected that. But to be clear, every time I flirted with you, I meant it. Every time you caught me looking at you a little too long, I was probably thinking about kissing you. I think you are funny and interesting and kind and I have, since the day we met, found you incredibly attractive. Okay?”
“Okay,” she says, her eyes wide. She’s looking at me like I’ve grown another head, but I guess I’ve never spoken so forcefully before. I don’t know how else to make her see, though. Don’t know how to …
I rub my face again. Since university.
You’ve got to laugh or you’d cry, right?
“So how do you want to do this?” I ask.
“Do what?”
“Us.”
“Oliver—”
“Dinner? Coffee? Dinner,” I decide for us. “At that Italian place where they give you free limoncello. You love that place.”
“You want to go for dinner?”
“I want to take yououtfor dinner. I’ll collect you and I’ll pay. We’ll have a nice time. And then, if you want to, we can try the kissing thing again.”
“The kissing thing?”
“The kissing thing,” I confirm, my mind racing ahead. I feel like I’ve just sprinted down the road. My heart is pumping. My body buzzing. Part of me still expects Lara to shut it all down. But I don’t think she will. I think I’ve finally gotten through to her because there’s a spark behind her eyes that wasn’t there before. An extra weight to her attention that I feel down to my bones.
And then I change my mind. Because she’s right. We deserve to have the best version of this life.
Of us.
And god knows we’ve wasted enough time.
“Or,” I say. “We could try right now.”
