Page 34 of Merrily Ever After
“A camel?”
I balk. “Um, maybe. Might be too cold for camels, though.”
“A panda?”
Who the hell is teaching him all these things? “I don’t know. ButIwant to see a goat,” I say with extra enthusiasm. He just frowns, but before he can ask about antelopes or a jaguar, the assistant returns and plonks a giant stuffed teddy bear onto the counter.
“What’s that?” I ask, confused.
The girl glances at the monster. “Your order.”
“It’s twice the size of my son.”
“It’s the biggest one we have,” she confirms.
“You don’t say.” No wonder Christian didn’t want to get it.
“Gift wrapped?” she continues.
I shake my head, regretting my life choices. “Just a bag, please.”
“Two euro.”
I stare at her. “What?”
“Two euro for the bag.”
“Sincewhen?” I ask as she holds up the flimsy brown paper that will probably rip in thirty seconds anyway.
“It’s our new environmental policy.”
“How is that helping the environment?”
The girl shrugs.
“Okay, well, my principles won’t allow me to pay two euro for something that should be free.”
“Then don’t buy it.” The words are said so logically that I have to respect her.
“No bag then.” I take the teddy. “Tiernan. Hold this.”
He dutifully holds out his tiny hands, his eyes lighting up in a way that lets me know I’m going to have to add another present to his haul this year.
“See,” I tell him as my phone buzzes. “We’re done. Now we can do fun stuff. Like meet some goats.”
I glance down at the text.
Your father wants to know
if you got the cheese.
Shit.
I stop and turn the pram back around, immediately getting glares and mutters from the people behind me, but what do they want me to do? Fail at my cheese task?
The food section is on the other side of the store, and first I have to get through the sunglasses and beauty section. It’s like I’m playing a game of Tetris as I inch my way through, and I can feel myself losing more and more patience as a group of pre-teens gather around the skincare section, blocking my path.
“Move!” I say in my most manic voice and they scatter, dropping retinol and plumping serum in their haste.
