Page 27 of Winter at the Cornish Garden Café
‘And not in a relationship.’ It was a statement, not a question, because she’d told him the other day.
‘Nope. Nor are you.’ She watched as his smile broadened.
‘Nope.’
‘Cool. It’s great that we resolved that.’ Laughter bubbled inside her along with the thrill of being so close to Lucas. ‘We wouldn’t want any confusion left between us.’
A beat of silence fell between them as they let the confirmation of their single status sink in. Here they were at the same time, in the village almost two decades after they’d split up. It wasChristmas, and they were both single. What were the chances of that happening?
‘You’re smiling,’ she said.
‘I can’t help it. Being around you makes me smile.’
‘That’s nice.’ She nudged him.
‘It is.’ He nudged her back.
‘Shall we go for a walk? Or do you need to get back to your dad?’
‘To be honest, I don’t have long. I can’t leave him sitting on the bench in the cold.’ Lucas pointed over at where his father was sitting by the harbour.
‘Of course not!’ She sighed. ‘I should let you get back to him, then.’
‘I wish I could come for a walk with you and talk more.’ He gazed into her eyes. ‘I’m staying here for Christmas though, so perhaps we’ll be able to talk more another day?’
‘I’d like that.’ She nodded.
‘OK then. You’re working this week at the café?’
‘I’ll be there tomorrow and I’m closing up for Pearl and Ellie. They’re going shopping.’
‘I’ll swing by then.’ He leant closer. ‘And we can have a chat without the pressure of your children staring at me like they’re worried I’m going to throw you over my shoulder and run away with you.’
They both looked over at Rosie and Reggie. He was right; they were staring at their mum and Lucas.
‘OK then. See you tomorrow.’ Thora walked away from him, her heart fluttering wildly. Lucas wanted the chance to speak to her alone, and it made her feel ridiculously happy. This was ridiculous because she was forty-one and had responsibilities and other demands on her time, but for some reason, when she was around him, she felt young again. Free again. Like a woman and not a daughter, mother, or divorcee. Like she could be the woman she’d once been again because Lucas had known that woman. He saw her in ways no one else could do because of their history.
It was uplifting and terrifying all at once.
14
THORA
The next morning, Thora woke to find a covering of snow over the village. The roads were clear, but the roofs of cottages and shops were white. Snow dusted the decks of boats in the harbour, trees and hedges. Porthpenny looked so pretty that she took her time as she strolled with Barry, letting herself appreciate the beauty of the village she lived in while soaking up the festive atmosphere created by the Christmas tree and the lights that glowed in the windows of cottages and shops.
Barry wasn’t so sure about the snow, and he tried to eat some several times, then barked in shock at how cold it was. When they got home, Thora dried his tiny paws and gave him a snack, then he settled in his cosy bed near the radiator in the lounge while she cleaned around before setting off to walk two dogs in the village.
It was early afternoon when she walked up to The Garden Café, and by then, a lot of the snow had melted, much to her daughter’s chagrin, she knew. Rosie had messaged her from school to say she hoped it would snow more so she could get aday off. There was nothing like a snow day when you were still at school, Thora thought, but she doubted it would happen.
Her walk to work was cold but bright, and she savoured the chilly air as it filled her lungs and refreshed her. She hadn’t slept well the night before, as her mind had been awhirl with memories and questions about the past and present. There were so many things to think about on a daily basis, and now that Lucas was back, things were even more complicated. She hadn’t seen him in years and that had allowed her to focus on her days, but now that he was here, she felt different. For so long she had been a wife and mum, devoted to her family, working hard to pay the bills and to put food on the table. But now … Parts of her that had seemed to fade long ago were awakening like spring flowers as the winter snow thawed. It was the strangest feeling, and it made her uneasy because while she felt more alive than she’d felt for some time, she was also afraid. Feeling this awake could be good, but it could also open her up to being vulnerable. During her marriage to Finn, she’d been content and life had been fine, but now that security blanket was gone and she was exposed to what Lucas represented for her. He wasn’t just a person from her past, he was a reminder of who she used to be, and who she might still want to become. While she’d been with Finn, she’d been faithful to him, and being married had enabled her to push all thoughts of her first love to the back of her mind. But when Finn had confessed that he wasn’t truly happy, and that something wasn’t right, she’d felt her past rearing up like a wild stallion, threatening to turn her stability into chaos.
She reached the gate to the gardens and paused for a moment to gaze out at the sea. Over the years, she had done this countless times, and it never grew old. The dark expanse of water hid so many things, and yet now and then, it revealed things too. The water brought things to the shore like empty crab shells,seaweed, coloured glass, bottles, and pieces of wood. It left them on the sand like offerings to an ancient god and waited for people to claim them. If people didn’t claim them, the tide often took them away again. Was that what love was like, too? If you didn’t claim the offering, did the other person reclaim it and hide their feelings? Lucas had loved her once, she knew he had, but then something had happened and they’d fallen out and he’d withdrawn just as she had. They’d been young and stubborn and they’d put space and time between them. What if they had made a terrible mistake? What if there had been a way to work through what had happened and be together? All those years could have been so different, and yet she knew she wouldn’t change a thing because those years had given her Rosie and Reggie and many happy times. She couldn’t regret not chasing after Lucas because that would mean regretting her children, and that was something she would never do.
She took one more deep breath of fresh air, then went through the gate and into the café gardens, admiring the snow that lay on the grass, pure and untouched except for the tiny prints left by birds.
The afternoon flew by as she served a steady stream of customers. Pearl and Ellie had gone at two, so Thora was alone until closing at seven. She was about to give up on Lucas when he came inside, his cheeks rosy from a walk in the cold. His handsome face broke into a smile when he spotted her. He waited at the counter while she spoke to some customers and picked up empty plates.
‘I thought you’d changed your mind,’ she said, placing the plates on the counter.
