Page 28 of A Wedding at The Cornish Garden Café
‘Do I?’ Edith laughed. ‘I’m glad to hear that I look that way, but believe me, I do not have my act together.’
‘You don’t?’
‘Not at all. I mean, I love my job and my friends and living here in Porthpenny, but there are things that… haven’t worked out the way I once thought they would.’
‘With Wyatt?’ Rosie asked, making Edith suck in a breath. ‘I overheard Dad and Titus talking about it. I wasn’t trying to listen, but sometimes they’re louder than they think, and Titus said that he was worried about Wyatt. He thinks he still has feelings for you.’
‘Oh…’ Edith’s heart fluttered, and she hugged her knees tighter.
‘Sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear.’
‘No, don’t be sorry. I’m just surprised.’ Edith scratched at her cheek.
‘Titus said that whenever you and Wyatt are together, there’s so much chemistry, he thinks he can see stars twinkling around you.’
‘Wow.’ Edith swallowed hard. This was a lot to take in. But she was also concerned about Rosie and so she’d tuck this information away for now and find out what was bothering the girl. ‘Uhm… Coming back to your point about life… Are you feeling confused?’
Rosie nodded. ‘Very. I love my parents so much, and I want them to be happy, but it’s a lot right now. The wedding… Mum’s new boyfriend… Sometimes I wish Reggie and I were little again so we could all just have a simple life.’
‘It can be hard. Change isn’t easy to navigate, especially when you’ve so much going on with school.’
Rosie wrapped her towel tighter around her shoulders. ‘I really like Titus, but I don’t feel excited for the wedding. I know he’s not taking my dad away from me, but sometimes it feels like it. Does that make sense?’
‘Absolutely. It’s OK to have conflicting feelings about things, you know?’
‘But I feel so guilty for even admitting that. If Dad lost Titus now, he’d be devastated. He loves him so much.’
‘He does, and Titus loves him too.’
‘I know.’ Rosie nodded and then hugged her knees to her chest in a gesture that mirrored Edith. They sat there like that in thoughtful silence, gazing at the horizon as the sun rose in the sky. The lavender faded as the peach spread and then that yielded to the bright blue of a perfect Cornish morning. ‘I think,’ Rosie said finally, ‘that I just feel a bit overwhelmed.’
‘And that’s OK too.’ Edith reached out and rubbed Rosie’s arm. ‘There’s a lot happening right now. How do you feel about being a bridesmaid?’
Rosie stretched out her legs and placed her hands on her knees. ‘Some days I’m OK with it and others I feel a bit strange. I want Dad to be happy. It’s just that everything changes so quickly.’
Edith nodded slowly. Rosie was right; life changed at an alarming speed. One day you were in your teens with your whole life ahead of you and next thing you were already in your thirties and not at all where you thought you’d be at this point in time.
‘It gets easier,’ Edith said, wanting to reassure Rosie but not sure she believed what she’d said.Did life ever get easier?Sometimes it felt like after she’d dealt with one obstacle, another camealong. But didn’t that make the good times even more precious? ‘Well… Perhaps that’s not wholly true. But we have many good times in our lives, and so we have to make the most of those and then, when we encounter difficult times, I think we have to breathe deep and hold on tight.’
Rosie turned to look at Edith, her green eyes filled with a wisdom beyond her years. ‘Thank you for being honest. Lots of adults just say what I want to hear likeyour exams will be fine because you’ve done all the revision,that boy you like does like you and that’s why he teases youandyour friends don’t talk behind your back because you’re considered to be an ‘all-rounder’ by the teachers.’ She gave a wry laugh. ‘I know when people are lying, and I also know they do it to protect me, but I’d much prefer the truth. That way I can brace myself for what comes next.’
‘You’re very mature, Rosie. In fact, I think you have it more together than I do, and I’m twice your age.’ Edith laughed.
‘I doubt that very much, Edith. You’re an independent career woman, and I admire you a lot.’
Edith’s heart squeezed. ‘That’s so kind of you. I’ll share a secret with you though. Underneath the surface, I’m the proverbial swan. My legs are paddling frantically while I try to stay on top of everything.Successfulis a funny concept, really. I see my life as a kind of jigsaw. Some pieces fit where they should, but others are swollen with water damage, so they don’t fit. And some have faded, so I can’t see where they should have gone in the first place.’
Rosie considered this for a moment, picking at a rough cuticle. The breeze toyed with her blonde hair, lifting strands that had escaped her wet ponytail. ‘I guess then… that it’s easy to think adults have it all figured out because it looks that way butmaybe it’s just because you’ve had more time to get better at pretending.’
Edith laughed. ‘It could well be that. Of course, I can’t speak for others, only for myself and my experiences. Sometimes it’s harder than others. But on mornings like this, I realise that not having all the answers is OK. It’s simply part of life.’ She gave a small shrug.‘Just try to remember that it’s OK to feel more than one emotion about a situation. Like, you can feel conflicted and not judge yourself for that. And if you feel you don’t fit in sometimes, then that’s OK too. When I was about your age, possibly younger, I was a bridesmaid for a family friend, and I was so excited. I’d never been a bridesmaid before, and I was looking forward to wearing a pretty dress. But when I went for the fitting, I was horrified. The dress was awful. It was pink satin, had a scratchy petticoat and was enormous. I felt like a pink meringue in it.’
Rosie giggled. ‘What did you do?’
‘What could I do? It was kind of them to ask me, and while I hated the dress, I wanted to be a good bridesmaid. Besides which, they had eight other women and girls as bridesmaids and their dresses were the same, so at least we looked like meringues together.’
Rosie’s wide smile made her look like a little girl and reminded Edith of the conflict a teenager faced between childhood and adulthood. ‘I love that story.’
‘Even if we feel we don’t fit in, we will find our tribe at some point. There was a kind of comfort in knowing I wasn’t the only one who looked silly.’
