Page 106 of It's Always Been You
I look down, saying nothing. He’s making sense, and I don’t like it.
“Look at it this way,” he continues, his countenance burning bright with something I’ve never seen before. “If our earthly parents gave us everything we wanted in life, would that prove they loved us? No, not necessarily. It would only prove that they’re good at giving us what we want. And what we think we want isn’t always what’s best for us. Just like a toddler doesn’t know that he can’t have dessert for every meal because sugar isn’t good for him, we don’t know what’s good or profitable for us, either, because we’re not God. We can’t see the bigger picture like He can.”
I glare at him. “Are you saying that reconciliation between my parents wouldn’t begoodfor them? Or for me?” I thought God frowned upon divorce. “Or what about a relationship with my mother? Or relief from the physical pain I suffer every single day? God thinks those things aregoodfor me?”
The thought makes my blood boil. How can God call Himself good if He deems suffering acceptable orgoodin His sight? What does that say about Him?
Brandon shakes his head patiently. “You’re thinking too narrow, Genevieve. You’re thinking in terms of the world and the desires of the flesh. But God is far more concerned with this.” He taps my heart with his pointer finger. “Your heart. He’s more concerned with how you respond to life’s trials and tribulations and sorrows. Will you allow them to bring you closer to Him? Or push you further away?”
I marvel at him, stricken by his wise response. It’s almost like I’m not even speaking to Brandon anymore, but Christ through him.
He continues, encouraged by my astonished silence. “Right now, Evie, you’re letting what you perceive to be unanswered prayers keep you from deepening your relationship with Him. He doesn’t want that for you. He wants you to come to Him with everything. Every question, every burden—even your doubt and confusion and anger. He’s not offended by any of it. He can handle it all. And you might just be surprised by how He responds.”
I nod hesitantly, absorbing everything he’s said. “Okay.” I face the tree again. “I’ll think about it.”
Brandon shifts to face the tree as well and pulls me into his side, wrapping us up in the blanket once more. “So, to answer your original question. While I don’t know what the future holds for Maggie, I know God loves her beyond measure,and He hears every one of her prayers. I also know He’s with her right now, and He always has been, demonstrating His love for her through you and everything you’ve done for her. Not to mention the miracle of modern medicine.”
I sniffle, holding back my tears. He kisses my temple. “And one more thing,” he whispers into my ear, and I swallow at the rough, determined edge of his voice. “God loves you just as much as He loves Maggie, Evie. You are His beloved, and He will never leave you alone.”
His words seep slowly into my soul, spreading a strange, comforting warmth through my whole body. Meanwhile, my heart ponders and wonders at how similar Brandon’s words are to Pastor Mark’s—and even Abi’s.So cast your burdens on Him, child, because He cares deeply for you. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. He will never leave you. Never forsake you. He is a good, trustworthy Father who always pursues His beloved.
Is it purely coincidence that they’ve all been painting an image of a God who lovingly pursues His beloved children? Or is God trying to communicate something to me, and I’m just a terrible listener? For so long, I assumedHewasn’t listening tome.
But maybe the opposite is true.
“He who began a good work in you will see it through to the day of completion, Evie,” Brandon continues, kissing my hair. “I believe that. He will never stop pursuing you. No matter how long it takes for you to trust that He loves you.”
For some reason, I get the sense that there’s a double meaning to Brandon’s words. His arms constrict around me, and I snuggle deeper into his embrace, tilting my head back to look at him. “Hey, Brandon?”
“Hmm?”
“Have I told you lately that I love you?”
He laughs, and I join in. “No.”
“Well, I do.”
“I love you, too,” he murmurs. “More than you’ll ever know.”
Closing my eyes, I allow the strong, steady beating of his heart to lull me into a deep, restful sleep.
Chapter 35
Brandon
I’mawakenedbysomeonekicking my toe. I open my eyes to see Jamie leering down at me. As awareness dawns on me, I realize I’m still cuddled up with Evie on Maggie’s couch. She’s wrapped around me like a snake attempting to suffocate its next meal.
If I wasn’t sweating before, I am now.
Jamie raises his eyebrows expectantly, then nods toward the kitchen and disappears.
I swallow nervously, unsure what he’s going to make of this situation.
Lifting my head, I grimace at the crick in my neck. Slowly, I shift forward and carefully disentangle my limbs from Evie’s. She mumbles a protest, reaching for me as I slip from the couch. Hovering over her for a moment, I allow her to slip back to sleep before padding quietly out of the room.
Jamie’s making coffee when I enter the kitchen. Surprisingly, he doesn’t seem upset. He hands me a mug before dropping into the breakfast nook and gesturing for me to join him. The stoic look on his face reminds me of all the fathers I’ve met in my life—and all the times I’ve been warned not to hurt someone’s little girl. Cringing internally, I wonder if Jamie’s about to give me the same spiel.
I sit down and wait for him to break the silence.
