Page 77 of It's Always Been You
To me, Grandma’s love was the opposite of my parents’. It was safe, freely given, and unconditional. I never needed to earn her love or fear it would disappear based on my poor conduct. It justwas—as if it had always been and always would be. And I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, Grandma would never leave me. Never abandon me.
Grandma’s love felt easy. Light.
Pastor Mark’s words circle back to me, yet again.So cast your burdens on Him, child, because He cares deeply for you. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. He will never leave you. Never forsake you.
Grandma returns and extends two gel pills in my direction. “Take these and go straight to bed.”
I shake my head. “Maybe later. I need to clean up the kitchen and finish the lau—”
“I will take care of the kitchen,” she interjects. “The laundry can wait. You just focus on getting some rest.”
“Grandma, that’s why I’m here,” I remind her. “To take care of things like that.”
She wags a finger at me. “I am not helpless, Evie. Now take the cold medicine and go to bed.”
“Fine,” I gripe, swiping the pills up and popping them into my mouth. I hide them between my cheek and molars before pretending to swallow, then open my mouth to show her.
Satisfied, she nods, gesturing for me to get up. She then proceeds to walk me to my bedroom like I’m a prisoner being escorted back to her cell. I turn to her outside my door. “Am I allowed to brush my teeth?”
Her eyes narrow. “You may. I’ll wait here.”
I resist a smile. Secretly, I adore her attempt at mothering me. But I moved in to take care ofher—not the other way around.
Inside the bathroom, I remove the melting gel tabs from between my gums and brush my teeth, then return to my bedroom to change into my pajamas. Grandma waits outside the door and comes in when I yell for her.
She chuckles as she sits down on my bed, cataloguing my stuffed animal collection with amusement. She picks up a white bear from my nightstand. “When are you going to stop collecting these?” she wonders, stroking its soft fur before setting it back on the table.
When Mom comes home. So, probably never.
“They might be worth money one day,” I defend.
She chuckles. “Let’s hope so.”
Ignoring her laughter, I tuck myself into bed and pull the covers up to my nose. I burrow down into the sheets and smile up at her, feeling like I’m ten years old again as she waits for me to get comfortable.
I’m half expecting her to read me a bedtime story, but once I’m settled, she says a quick prayer and asks me if there’s anything else I need. I shake my head, but really, I wish she’d cuddle up in bed with me like she used to do when I had night terrors.
“Do you remember when we used to have sleepovers?” I ask, knowing I’m stalling. I don’t feel like journaling, but I don’t want to be left alone with my thoughts just yet.
Grandma’s expression softens. “Those are some of my happiest memories.”
My eyes prickle with tears. “Mine, too.”
She strokes my hair, and I close my eyes, enjoying the sensation of her soft, soothing touch. “Is that a not-so-subtle hint that you want me to stay?”
“No, that’s okay,” I mumble around an unexpected yawn. “I don’t want you to get you sick.”
“Okay, then,” she says, patting my hand. “Please rest up, Evie. I’m here if you need anything.” She kisses my forehead, and the lingering, comforting fragrance of her hairspray is the last thing I remember before I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
***
“Evie.” Brandon’s voice breaks through my consciousness like a sledgehammer. Disoriented, I gasp and sit up, glancing frantically around the dimly lit room. “Merry Christmas,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
“Brandon,” I groan groggily, rubbing my eyes. He chuckles, and awareness rushes back to me as I take in my surroundings. We’re in Brandon’s living room. “Is Teddy—?”
“In bed,” he confirms, loosening his tie. “I put him down as soon as we got back. He was zonked.”
“I bet.” I glance down at the couch. I blush when I realize I must have fallen asleep in the car. We had a quiet Christmas gathering at Brandon’s mom’s house; it was justme, Dana, him, his mom, and Teddy, since the rest of his family celebrates Christmas on the actual day.
