Page 71 of Red Snow
I PUT VISQUEENon the concrete floor beneath her, but I don’t think I need it this time. After this is done, I’ll disappear from here. Mother is gone anyway, so I have no reason to stay. My life is changed forever now, and without Mother around to act as a giant straitjacket across my chest, I’m free to move on. Maybe after I leave here, I can try to find happiness somewhere else. Maybe I can meet a girl who is nothing like Mother and try to settle down. I’ll find someone who is nothing like Brandi. Nothing like Brenda. Nothing like Britney. Anyone who is like either of them is worthy of every bit of pain they get, but maybe I can move on from all of that. After I’m finished with Granger.
“Oh, there you go, little one,” I say quietly as Brandi starts to climb out of her slumber. She’s groggy, understandably, blinking slowly and trying to figure out where she is. She won’t be able to figure it out. “Welcome back,” I say, drawing her attention.
“What? What’s going on?” she asks, of course. Typical woman. “Where am I?”
“Nowhere you’d recognize,” I answer as I squat in front of the chair she’s tied to. “You’re sitting inside of a garage right now, in a house that Homegrown Construction is renovating. I wasn’t assigned to work here, but of course I knew about it. I know how far along my coworkers are in their project, so I know no one will be showing up here until the morning. Another six hours or so, maybe seven, depending on how long it takes for them to get here from Eagle River. The point is, we have lots of time together.”
“I don’t understand,” she says, her voice quivering as she tries to move her arm and realizes she has zip ties around her wrists that’s holding her to the chair she’s seated in. “You hit my mailbox. I didn’t do anything to you, so why am I here? I was nice to you. I wasn’t going to call the police.”
“I know, and that was very kind, but it’s not enough, Brandi.” I let the name flow from my mouth, and it reminds me that that’s really her name. Wow. “I’m still a little stunned that your name is Brandi. It’s almost like this was meant to be, like it’s a sign from her that this is the right thing to do.”
“What? What does my name have to do with any of this? And it’s a sign from who?”
“Mother,” I tell her, which she frowns at. “Don’t make that face! Your name starts with the letter B, just like my mother’s. Her name was Beverly, and she died of Leukemia only a few days ago. I haven’t dealt with it well, even though I couldn’t be happier that she’s gone. I have to admit, Brandi, I’m a little conflicted when it comes to her. She was my everything, yet the very thought of her makes my blood hot with hatred.”
“I don’t understand,” Brandi replies, still frowning, which is really starting to rub me the wrong way. “Why would thoughts of your mother make you hot with hatred? And what does she have to do with me?”
“You’re just full of questions, aren’t you? Well, since you asked, it’s only fair that I answer. My mother was the only friend I ever had, the only friend I was really allowed to have. She was my world, and now that she’s gone, I feel lost without her. But she also was everything bad in my life. She was my boogieman. She beat me before I was ever old enough to know what was happening to me, and she made me do things with her that a child should not be learning how to do by experiencing it with his mother.”
Brandi frowns again, and I can’t take it. I stand up, reach back, and slap her across her blasphemous face.
“I told you to get that look off your fucking face!” I scream. “What? You don’t like the answer to your question? Are you put off by the thought of my mother forcing me to stick my tongue inside of her pussy? Does that give you a bad mental image? Well imagine living it, Brandi! I bet your life was just all fun and games wasn’t it? No mommy and daddy abusing you, turning your entire world upside down, making you confused and hurt in more ways than you knew were possible. How dare you look at me that way after all I’ve been through.
“But of course you’d look at me that way. I almost got sidetracked and forgot who you are. Brandi, the slutty cunt who just got done fucking Granger. You’re his little companion, so of course you’d look at me that way. It’s the same disrespectful way he looked at me when he talked about my mother. It’s the same look that’s going to get him killed. The same look that brought me to your house tonight.”
Brandi’s cheek is bright red from the slap, her eye is swollen from the punch at her house, and she has tears in her eyes, but she’s fighting them back. She’s a real champ, this one. Tough. Brave. Stupid as fuck, and about to die.
“This is about Jarrod?” she says, her lip quivering. “You took me because of Jarrod?”
“Yes I did. You see, this is nothing personal. You just happened to be the girl who met him at his house and fucked him tonight. If it was somebody else, I would’ve taken them, but it was you. You’re guilty by association. I guess you have him to thank for this.”
“No, he didn’t make you do this. You’re doing it because you want to. Because you’re crazy.”
“He disrespected my mother!” I bark in her face, spitting on her a little.
“You just said you hated her.”
This time, it’s a punch that I hit Brandi with. My fist lands solidly in her stomach, and she hunches forward, gasping for air.
“You will not disrespect Mother and get away with it. You’re filthy, you know that, Brandi? A disgusting creature who’s worthy of torture. Fucking women! Goddamn it! I fucking hate how vile you all are. Look at you, sitting there with that smug look on your face, trying to suck all of the air out of the room like all of it belongs to you. This is my air, too. Stop breathing so hard!”
“You just punched me in the stomach, you fucking asshole!” she screams as the tears start streaming down her face.
“Shut your despicable mouth!” I shout back. “You’re just like her. You think you can just talk to me however you want. Like you own me. You may as well be her. In fact, let’s fix that.”
I walk behind Brandi, making my way to the corner of the garage where I have my gym bag resting on the floor, filled with all the stuff I packed when I left the trailer, plus my extra special tools from Mother’s Toyota. I pick it up and bring it over to where she’s sitting, dropping it in front of her so she can see everything inside when I open it up. I hear her breathing starting to pick up as I pull it open and fish through it, looking for something to make the necessary corrections.
“Please,” I hear her whispering. “Please don’t.”
“Ssshhh,” is my response just as I pull my trusty hacksaw from the gym bag.
“No, no please!” she yells.
“Quiet, Brandi!” I bellow.
She stops talking, but her breathing is panicked as I grab her hair and start sawing it off in thick chunks. I grab her hair in clumps at a time and saw it in half, doing my best to make her hair look like the same bob haircut Mother used to have. The look I love. The look I loathe.
“There. Now your look matches your disgusting attitude. You’re just like her now.” I say as I drop the hacksaw on the ground in front Brandi, who’s sobbing. “What the fuck are you crying for? I didn’t even cut your throat yet. Getting your hair cut doesn’t hurt. It’s hair!”
“Fuck you, you son of a bitch!” she screams. “If you’re going to kill me, just do it. Get it over with.”
“Holy moly, you’re feisty!” I reply, laughing in her face. “Do you have any idea how good it’s going to feel when I kill you?”
“You fucking asshole,” she replies, but the curse has no bite to it. She’s crying her eyes out, looking completely defeated.
“Don’t worry, Brandi,” I say as I place one hand on her shoulder and use the other to take her cell phone from her pocket. “It’ll all be over soon. If you were any other girl, it would already be over. I would’ve cut your head off and put it in front of Granger’s apartment. But you’re special because you’re attached to him. It can’t end without him being here to watch it happen. I have to hurt him by hurting you. You understand, right? Of course you do. I just need you to bear with me a little longer.”
I bring Brandi’s phone to life, but it has one of those annoying fingerprint passcodes on it, so I have to bend forward and use her thumbprint to open it completely. Once it’s open, I find Granger’s name in her contacts.
“I know you’re tired and ready to go,” I say to her, “and now that we’ve cut your hair like hers, I’m ready to send you off, too. So, what do you say we get this show on the road? It’s time to invite the guest of honor.”
