Page 26 of I Love to Hate You
“At least he can defend himself,” I blare, unable to hold it in any longer. The words surprise me when they come out, because Kendrick and I have never been able to get along, but Eddie has pushed me over the edge to an unknown place, and I’m falling.
“What? You actually like Kendrick?” he asks.
“I don't know, Eddie. All I know is that you and I aren’t meant to be together. I don't want my boyfriend to pull into a parking lot and ask me togo down on him or something. I don't want to be called sugar lips, and I don't want my boyfriend reminding me that he comes way too fast. I also don't want to have to defend my boyfriend in the mall because he’s too scared to defend himself. I’m sorry, but you're just not enough for me.”
“I’m not enough, but ghetto, thug, criminal Kendrick Kennedy is?”
“Why do you keep bringing up Kendrick? I barely even know him. This is about you, Eddie. I can’t be withyouanymore. This isn’t how I expected to start the day, but it is what it is. I don't want to be one of those people who just lets a relationship drag out forever without ever being able to speak their truth, so I’ll just use this moment as my chance to be honest with both you and myself. I don't feel fulfilled with you, Eddie. You're not assertive enough for me, and while I’m sure your style is fine for other girls, it just doesn’t work for me. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but I’m done. We have to be done.”
Silence settles between us as Eddie’s eyes drop down to the floor of the car. He looks mesmerized and defeated—morose and outraged at the same time. His gaze bounces around, landing on nothing at all as he comes to a conclusion in his mind and his brows nearly cinch together.
“Fine,” he snips, finally looking up at me. “Go back to Kensington and get a job at a liquor store. You’ll wish you were with me when I become the CEO of Sandcastle, but it’ll be far too late. Get the fuck out of my car.”
“Eddie, I’m sure you're pissed and want to say things to me out of anger. But I’d rather be in Kensington begging on the streets than working with you in that nepotism factory your dad calls an ad agency. The last thing I will ever need is you, or any other man for that matter, gifting me with something because you want to fuck me. I don't need to make it that way. So you can stay in the car your father gave you, and work at the job your father gave you, and spend the money he gives you, while claiming to be grown and independent. I’ll be fine on my own.”
Without another word, I open the door and climb out of the car, slamming it shut behind me. I think I hear Eddie saying something from inside, but it’s muffled and inaudible. It wouldn't matter anyway. The chapter of my life that included him closed with the car door, and I walk toward the campus with a smile on my face and excitement in my heart. School is ending and a new life is beginning—a life where I will go for what I want and accept nothing less, because that’s what every woman deserves.
Chapter Nineteen
~ MAYA~
Seventy-two hours. That’s how long I have until I’m walking across the stage to accept my degree from the dean. In seventy-two hours, it won’t matter that I’ve been suspended and threatened with expulsion multiple times. It won’t matter that I’ve argued with professors and put my hands on a multitude of girls while being completely prepared to do the same to a number of guys over the years. My reputation will turn to dust with the Thanos snap of graduation, and I’ll have done what seemed impossible when this journey started. Seventy-two hours … but first, one last day of classes, and one final movie to waste time.
I sit in my Corporations and Financing class having already accumulated a high enough grade to pass, just like everyone else here, watching a documentary on corporate finance that could be used as a torture method to bore a prisoner to death. Around me are plenty of students who are clearly regretting their decision to attend the final day of classes before graduation. Heads nod as people doze off, while the professor doesn’t even bother to tell anyone to pay attention. This is the end. The people who are here didn't come to learn anything else. They came to soak in the experience of college one last time before it all comes to a screeching halt and non-stop adulting begins. This is us clinging to a life before nine to fives, but if I have to watch another second of this doc, I won’t be able to cling to life at all.
“Professor Jordan,” I say loudly as my hand shoots into the air. “As much as I’d hate to miss a single second of this exhilarating piece of cinematography, I have to use the restroom.”
The professor glares at me over the thin, silver frame of his glasses. “No need for the sarcasm, Ms. Valentina. Go to the bathroom.”
“Thank you, sir. Your approval is much appreciated,” I joke, giggling to myself while no else even seems to notice I’ve spoken. Smiling to the professor who rolls his eyes, I get up and walk out of the class.
I make my way into the bathroom, weaving through the crowd of people lingering between their own classes, thinking about nothing at all. Once I’m finished, I button everything up to leave the stall and wash my hands, and that’s when the world gets back to its usual shit. Just as I’m rinsing my hands of soap, two girls step out of one stall and have the nerve to look at me like I’m the one being weird. One girl is a brunette I’ve seen on campus from time to time, while the other is a redhead I’ve seen far too often lately.
Fucking Amy.
I try my best not to get caught up in whatever crap the two of them have going on, but a person can only standby and listen while people whisper and giggle about them for so long. As soon as I shut off the water, the sound of their chirping voices is as loud as a train, and their beady little eyes are glued to me. Even when I try to move on and be the bigger person, little people keep dragging me down to their level.
“You really want to do this, Amy?” I ask as I turn to grab a paper towel, just as the two of them step up to the sink and start the water.
“Do what?” Amy asks, her glossy red lipstick reflecting the fluorescent lights above us. “Me and Jennifer are just using the bathroom and talking. People are allowed to talk, you know.”
“Not about me they’re not,” I snip. “I’ve already had you folded in half, begging to be left alone, so let’s not go down this road again. Don’t look at me funny, and don’t whisper with your little friend about me as if I won’t knock you both back into the stall you just came out of like weirdos. What were you girlies doing in there, eating each other's pussies? Not that I mind the visual, but you couldn't wait until after class for that? You're both seniors. You could've just stayed home if you were horny.”
“Why are you so crude and insufferable, Maya?” Amy questions, as her friend crosses her arms and tries to stare me down.
“Because I literally can’t stand the sight of you, Amy,” I answer quickly.
“I think it’s because you're unhappy,” she shoots back. “I heard you got dumped by Eddie the other day. Back to being single I see.”
“Bitch, please. We all saw you get dumped by Kendrick in front, so you definitely don’t have room to talk. Plus, I broke up with Eddie.”
“Sure you did,” she says, shutting off the water and snatching a paper towel. “All I know is that my days at Temple are over, and I won’t have to see your face anymore. That goes for both you and Kendrick, the two most hated people at Temple U.”
I start to spit out a comeback, but the words never leave my mouth as Amy and Jennifer giggle together and walk out of the bathroom. Usually, I let my anger lead the charge in these moments. I let it fuel me and take over with no regard to who ends up hurt. Today, however, Amy’s words leave a bruise. I’ve never cared how I was seen while attending this school. I was just going about my business the way I go about it, knowing all along that I wasn’t like everyone else here. None of them had to deal with losing a mother the way I did. None of them were blamed by their father for their mother’s death. None of them lived in Kensington. My existence here has been volatile, but it’s because I’m a product of my environment. I never cared about how they saw me, but nobody wants to hear that they’re the most hated in the university.
I give it a minute before I decide to leave the room because I don’t want to run the risk of seeing Amy and Jennifer in the hall. I refuse to let anyone think that they’ve affected me negatively, so I pause at the door until their footsteps fade away, then I take a deep breath and prepare to finish this day as quietly as possible. When I pull open the door and round the corner, I slam into someone’s chest and nearly fall over.
“Fuck,” I blare as I stumble back. My brow furrows and I know there is pure poison spewing from my eyes when I look up, because between running into someone and Amy talking shit in the bathroom, I’m fed up. But then I see his face.
