Page 87 of I Love to Hate You
“I can relate,” I admit, trying not to sound too desperate.
“Can we talk?” she asks.
I nod.“I think we should.”
Maya follows me to the porch, and we sit down on the steps just like me and my mother.
“I’ve thought about this a lot, and it’s not easy for me to say, but just bear with me,” Maya begins. “First, I want to thank you. You saved my life, Kendrick. Literally. I would probably be dead right now if it wasn’t for you, and I couldn't possibly be more thankful. No one else in my life can say they saved me from death, but you’ve done it twice. Thank you for being there for me in my times of need.”
Tears threaten to come to life and I have to shake my head to knock them away.
“It’s no problem,” I manage to say, but I don't look at her when I say it.
“Secondly,” she goes on. “I want to apologize for the way I treated you the day you saved me. As grateful as I was, I can’t explain how difficult it was to hear that my father had died. The news just shoved so many raw, frantic emotions down my throat that I couldn't keep myself together, and I lashed out at you when I shouldn't have. I know what it’s like to be blamed for someone’s death when I didn't have anything to do with it, and I understand the pain it causes when you let it destroy you from within, even if it’s only for one day a year. As a victim of that misplaced blame, I should've known not to perpetuate that. I know my dad was his own downfall.
“My dad became an alcoholic ten years ago, and it stayed with him, breaking him down bit by bit before it finally finished him off completely. His inability to heal from my mother’s death is what caused his own. You tried to help him, and his alcoholism made sure you couldn't. There was nothing you could've done to stop what I know was inevitable. It was only a matter of time before he succumbed to it, and it probably would've happened on that day whether I ever met you or not. I realize that now, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to sooner.”
“Maya, you don't have to apologize,” I say, desperate to get my words out. “I can’t imagine how I would act if I found out my mother passed away. When she got sick with cancer, I became a truly terrible person. I literally beat a kid up because his brother wouldn't help me cheat on a test. That’s horrible, and it was just me taking out the anger I felt every day because of what was happening with my family behind closed doors. I truly understand what you're talking about, and I absolutely forgive you for it.”
“Thank you,” she says, reaching for me with her arms and wrapping them around my waist as she leans over. “I’m so sorry. I was really fucked up to you, and I know that must’ve hurt. You did everything you could, and I got mad at you for it. Please forgive me.”
I wrap my arms around her shoulders and squeeze. “Maya, all is forgiven, Baby Girl. I understand, and I don't blame you. I’m just glad you came back to me. I’ve been going fucking crazy without you.”
“Really?” she asks, and I hear the relief in her voice. She clearly thought I would be too angry with her to accept an apology. “I thought you were going to be over my shit. I thought I’d lost you for good.”
“Listen to me,” I say, pulling away so I can look her in the eye. “As long as you want me, you’ll have me. I’m yours, Maya, because the way I feel about you isn’t something I can find just anywhere. It’s once in a lifetime. You don't ever have to apologize for this again. You're here now, and that’s all that matters.”
She pulls me back into her as tears stream down her face. With the two of us entangled once again, I could literally die happy right now. It has only been a few days, but having her back is like emerging from the deepest, darkest part of the ocean. I can see again. I can breathe again. I’m alive again.
We stay in the same position, our arms wrapped around one another until the sound of my door being opened and closed finally snaps us out of it. We turn around to find my mother standing behind us, looking down with a gigantic smile stretched across her face. She looks at me, and then eyes Maya, still beaming.
“You must be Maya,” she says. “I’ve heard so much about you, and I’m so glad to see that you're here.”
Maya smiles nervously as she stands up with me and holds out her hand for my mother to shake. “Oh, my god. It’s so nice to meet you. Are you Kendrick’s—”
I quickly stick my hand out to cut her off.
“Hold on, hold on,” I say, smiling at them both with a heart full of joy. “I’ve never done this before—never had the desire to do it before, so allow me to make it an official introduction. Mom, this is my girlfriend, Maya. Maya, this is my mother, Viola.”
The two women in my life smile at each other like they’ve both been waiting for this day their entire lives, and the glee that fills me up is so intense that I can’t stop smiling. I know for an absolute fact that I have something I can never live without again. Somehow, in the blink of an eye, all of the pieces of my life have fallen right back into place.
Fifty-Two
~ KENDRICK~
“She is so awesome,” Maya says as we head inside together. We hear the engine of my mother’s car fire up before she drives away.
“Yes, she is,” I reply. I wait for Maya to enter the house, then lock the door behind her. “Since we found out that she’s in remission, she has been a bundle of energy. It’s so good to have her back.”
Maya’s face lights up with excitement. “Oh, I’m so glad to hear that. I’m sure that’s a huge weight off both of your shoulders.”
“Definitely. As much as the entire ordeal bogged me down, I know it was twice as bad for her, if not more. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must’ve been like for her. I’m just glad she fought her way through it, but I’m also not surprised by it. My mom is a beast. Where do you think I get it from?”
Maya laughs as she scoffs. “Please. You don’t have anything on that woman.”
I nod as I chuckle. “You’re right. She’s legendary.” With Maya close on my heels, we walk into the living room, and I gesture toward it with both arms. “Welcome to my humble abode. Over here, you’ll find the new place for the couch, and if you look to your left, you’ll see a new location for the coffee table that is in desperate need of replacement. The space feels much more expansive after the owner redecorated recently. Like, today.”
Maya laughs, sending warmth climbing up my spine. God, I missed that sound.
