Page 3 of A Good Girl's Guide to Dominance
Rude the moment he didn't get his way
Had expectations without clearing any of it with me, which means he's bad at communication—the number one mark of a fake Dom
Ignored my hard limits
Tried to talk me into doing things I clearly stated I didn't want to do
Disrespected the sanctity of the safe word!
Now that it’s written in front of me, I can't believe I allowed myself to step foot into his apartment. I need to be more alert to the red flags, because this can't keep happening.
Surely there is someone out there who actually knows how to be a Dom. No, let me rephrase. He won't knowhowto bea Dom. There has to be a man out there whoactuallyisa Dom. Right? For the love of God, please tell me there are still real Doms out there somewhere!
Two
“Wait a minute. Did you say a butt plug?”
Sitting in my best friend’s living room, surrounded by all the people I enjoy most, I hang my head in both disappointment and exaggerated shame. I was embarrassed enough just writing about it in my diary, but saying it out loud triples the feeling. The room erupts with laughter, making my pain and annoyance feel lighter. I’m still agonized by what happened with Zane last night, but this is what real friends are for. I expected them to make fun of me for taking another shot at love via the FET app, and in a weird way, I needed their jokes and laughter to help bring out my own. Admittedly, I deserve ridicule at this point because my love life is a joke, and Jazmine, Michael, and Jeremiah never let me down.
“Girl, why do you keep going on those kink apps?” Jeremiah asks, still laughing to himself, his dark brown skin reflecting the lights shining from the TV.
Jaz, as usual, is first to speak up for me.
“Jeremiah, don't act brand new,” she says jokingly. “That’s just the way Nia is. Our girl is a freak, and she’s looking for her fellow freak to match her energy.”
“I think that’s what Mr. Zane was trying to do with that booty plugger,” Jeremiah quips quickly, sending us all back into a fit of laughter. “Girl look, I know you're into what you're into, and I applaud how open you are with it, but when you tell people you're kinky and freaky, isn’t that what you’d expect?”
Jaz frowns, but I shake my head at her this time so she knows I’d rather answer for myself. As she and her husband Micheal watch with amused faces, I clear my throat and sit up straight, the wine in my glass threatening to spill on the black couch.
“Not even close, Jeremiah,” I answer. “Let me explain how this BDSM thing works. Everything is all about consent. It doesn't matter how much kinky shit I put in a profile bio, none of it happens without myapproval. So, when I tell someone that anal is a hard limit for me, it means that I will not agree to do that. Ever. Hard stop. Don't even ask, and definitely don't try to convince or lure me into it. Ignoring limits is like the ultimate red flag in the lifestyle. In fact, it’s a deal breaker.”
Jeremiah nods his head as he pulls his leg onto the couch for more comfort. “I hear you. You know I’m just messing with you.However, you don't know what you're missing out on, girl.”
With a chuckle I reply, “I’m not surprised you’d say that.”
“Hold on,”Micheal interrupts. “So, you had to tell this guy that you're not into butt play, and he still tried to talk you into it?”
“Basically,” I answer. “Honestly, I think I might have to take a break from the lifestyle and see what the vanilla life is all about. I’ve known Jaz my entire life, and her vanilla ass got married before I did.”
