Page 8 of A Good Girl's Guide to Dominance
Broke.
Married and trying to cheat on the low.
Has never been to the dentist.
Looks like he’s into making poisons.
On and on it goes until I finally give up and close the app. I set the phone down and lean against Jaz’s shoulder, fake crying.
“If I have a sad face when looking at my phone, this is why,” I say. “Being single fucking sucks.”
“Clearly,” she replies. “You need to download more apps, because that one is filled with nothing but trolls.”
“But that’s the thing, Jaz. That's the way it is on all of them,” I tell her as I pick up the phone again. “However, I did just match with someone on Tinder.”
Jaz nearly spits out her drink trying to speak. “Damn, why didn't you start with that? You got me out here looking at all these creatures on FET when you matched on Tinder? Let me see.”
Laughing, I open Tinder and show Jaz the personal trainer I matched with just this morning. When she sees him, she smiles.
“Okay,” she exclaims. “Marcus Graham. Brown skin, hazel eyes, nice smile with straight teeth, neatly trimmed beard. He’s cute, Nia. When are you linking up with him?”
“I don't know,” I say with a shrug. “I got the match when I was at work this morning and didn't have time to think about anything but the craziness at the office.”
“Well what are you waiting for? You're off work now.”
“Yeah, but … I don't know. I sort of wanted him to reach out to me first.”
She scoffs. “Girl, it’s 2024. A woman is allowed to make the first move.”
“I know that, but I’m a submissive, Jaz. I want a dominant man who can take the lead, and that means showing me that he’s interested.”
“Matching with you didn't show you that he’s interested?”
“You know what I mean,” I shoot back. “It’d just be nice if he reached out to me first. A message would let me know that he'sreallyinterested. Swiping right on me just means he thinks I’m attractive. Now that we’ve matched and he knows I found him attractive, too, he should be ready to make the first move.”
“So, matching put the ball in his court?”
“There’s noball,” I joke. “I just want to wait a little bit and see what he does. If he doesn't message me by the end of the day tomorrow, I’ll write to him. Okay?”
Jaz nods as she sips her drink, finishing it and waving off the waitress so that she doesn't bring her another one.
“Okay,” she answers. “Look, all I’m saying is that when you want something, sometimes you have to reach out and grab it. I’m not saying Marcus Graham isthe one, but you have a little opportunity here. Don't let it slip away by being stubborn.”
I nod my head before sipping my drink again. I know Jaz is right, but at the same time, I’m not interested in settling. As much as I may have to reach out and grab what I want, it has to be worth reaching for. It has to be worth grabbing. It has to be what I want, and I want arealDom. Sadly, even after matching with Marcus, I’m starting to think they no longer exist.
Dear Diary,
A Dominant would make the first move.
Here I sit, after a night out with my bestie, and Marcus from Tinder hasn't reached out yet. What is he waiting for? I get so tired of trying to explain this to people, but there are certain things I expect from a man claiming to be a Dominant.
A Dom wouldn't be moved by what year it is. He wouldn't be put off by the idea that women are more vocal about what they want now. He’d respect that fact, but he’d also understand that labeling himself as a Dom would conjure specific expectations. I can't think of a single scenario where a submissive would reach out to a Dom first.
Sure, it’s 2024 … but what the fuck?
Five
My drive to work feels a lot like the first day of school. I’m nervous as I take the same exit I do every day, and anxious as I park my car in its usual spot. Everything is as normal as it always is, but my nerves are piqued as I get out of the car and start walking in. I don't know what awaits me inside, and I’m hot from the stress. This is it. Today is the day we meet the new owner and CMO of Sandcastle.
