Page 33 of A Good Girl's Guide to Dominance
My lips slowly part as awe takes over my body. The words in my brain float around and rearrange themselves intounintelligible sentences, so I don't dare try to speak. I can only stare, dumbstruck by Rome’s response.
“You shouldn't do that,” he says, lowering his head and cutting his eyes up to meet mine.
“Do what?” I manage to ask in a breathy tone.
“Stare at me like that,” he answers, throwing my own words from the breakroom back at me. “You're not the only one who is affected by a gaze. If you keep it up, dinner will not be what I want to eat.”
Did he just fucking say that?
I don't change my facial expression. I can’t. I've lost all control of my body, especially what it desires. I know it’s unprofessional. I know what everyone in the office will think and surely talk about. They will drag my name through the mud and stomp on it. I will become a villain to them, while Jaz, Michael, and Jeremiah will sing my praises as my life becomes a rollercoaster ride with the highest of highs and lows that sink to the depths of hell. I know how crazy it will be, but I don't care. I can't. Because I've never wanted a man as much as I want Rome. So I keep staring at him until he knows it just as much as I do.
He sees it in me. I can tell from the way he locks eyes with me, his tongue rolling against the back of his bottom teeth while he thinks things I wish I knew.
“Should I take you home?” he asks, but we both know he’s not requesting to end the night. He’s asking to start it.
All rationality goes out the window. I don't think about the pain of the past or the pressure of the future. I am only in the now, and right now he is all I want.
“Yes,” I reply. “Please.”
Eighteen - Rome
This isn't the first time I've driven a woman back to her place after a night out together. I've done it plenty, never feeling the way I do right now. I've had sex, made submissives kneel for me and orgasm all over my apartment before driving them back to theirs and repeating the process. I've had one night stands and spent time at BDSM clubs simply to find someone to keep my bed warm, only to kick them out at the first sign of light. This isn't new to me, but smiling while sitting across from a gorgeous woman is. Feeling like I’m having a good time and that I'd like to have it againisn'tnormal, and I don't know how to feel about that.
I know it has been four years since I lost Natalia, but I was never truly interested in anyone in the quiet and lonely aftermath of her death. Liking Nia makes me feel like I’m upsetting the spirit of the wife I've been hanging onto for all this time. But now that we’re in Nia’s parking lot, what am I supposed to do? I don't know if I should be here, but I can't think of any other place I'd rather be.
“So,” she says from the passenger seat, looking at me with those gorgeous brown eyes. Her locs hang beautifully over her right shoulder, leaving her left exposed. Her brown skin looks as smooth as velvet, and the amount of it she is showing is almost too much to bear. It calls out like a siren beckoning me to the sea, and I am desperate to dive in. With almost no effort at all, Nia is the epitome of perfection.
“So,” I say, as the war between my head and reinforced heart becomes more violent. My insides turn to jelly when I look at her, like I’m looking over a ledge hundreds of feet in the air.
She glances down, just as nervous as I am. “Are you coming inside?”
Fuck. What are you doing, Rome?
“Umm,” I start, my self-control coming loose and flapping in the wind. “Do youwantme to come inside?”
After a moment, she smiles. “Yes. Please.”
Fuck.
Why does she have to keep saying that? The wordpleaseflowing out of her mouth is like the most enticing honey dripping from her lips. It sounds so fucking good, and of all the words in the English language, nothing ruins me more than that one.
In this lifestyle, the entire world revolves around consent. It doesn't matter what has been discussed or how sexual previous conversations have been. Without consent, there is nothing. Nia and I could have discussed all of our kinks and most filthy desires in graphic detail at that table, and I never would have attempted to lay a finger on her without her consent to do so. The wordpleaseis the ultimate consent. It is the mother of all begging, and if there is one thing I fucking love, it is being begged.
My heart has massive walls built around it. Whether I wanted to or not, my love for Natalia became a construction crew in mychest and blocked off my heart with concrete barriers so that it would still be preserved for my deceased wife. My brain, on the other hand, has just lost all control. My will to fight has vanished and my confidence restored just from the look on her face and that word singing from her mouth. I lick my lips as I give into the desire, and when she smiles again I know I’m not turning back.
“Say that again,” I demand, before sucking my lower lip into my mouth.
Nia grins, knowing exactly what I’m talking about, and she leans into it.
“Rome,” she says, lust pouring from her eyes. “Come inside … please.”
I let out a sigh that releases all of my ability to stop myself into the air. “Okay.”
Both of us exit my car and walk up to Nia’s front door, my heart racing with each step. I watch her hips sway in her dark green dress, and it makes me want to pick up the pace. I’m teetering on the edge as she inserts the key and opens the door, and the second it closes behind us, our lips finally touch, clashing in a passionate kiss.
I am completely undone as our tongues dance together. We stumble through the house, kicking end tables and the legs of couches before coming to a stop in front of one. Nia’s hands roam my body like she’s in a hurry, as though she has waited her entire life to press her fingers into my skin and tear at my clothes. My cock responds to her touch, throbbing as it hardens in my pants, but this isn't how I want it to happen. I was listening when she said she has been through the ringer with men in her private life. I won't be just another tale she tells about how bad her love life has been. No matter what happens between us after this moment, I will be the one she remembers most. I will be the memory that makes her stop during her day and get lost in herown mind. Her entire body will memorize the feel of mine before this night is over.
“Stop,” I command, taking a step back and sinking into the part of me that I hide from the rest of the world. I let go of the facade and take off the mask I wear every day when I'm in front of people who wouldn't understand or simply don't need to know, and I become who I truly am. I let the Dom in me step forward and harness control.
