Page 70 of Top Shelf
I could move slowly then. “Do you want me to tell you what the meeting was like?”
He was quiet for a long beat, then said, “I don’t think so. Not until I have you with me.”
There was weight to that statement—some kind of meaning. I just didn’t understand what it was. But it was better not to ask, I knew. Not yet. Not now.
Not until I could look him in the eye and understand what was actually happening.
Chapter Twenty
Quinn
Me: Of course the other option is you stay with me. You know that, right?
Me: God, you probably don’t. I’m sorry, I said all of that wrong.
Me: Ferris? Please don’t ignore me.
Me: Can we talk? Please?
I knewI shouldn’t have called him, but I couldn’t help it. I needed to hear his voice. My messages were left on delivered, and if he was about to walk into a meeting to talk about housing without realizing that being with me—staying with me, staying mine—was an option, I was going to hate myself forever.
I hated fucking up at all, but I hated fucking up with him the most.
It had now been forty-five minutes since the last time I’d heard from him. Sitting back in my chair, I groaned and debated about calling again, but I didn’t want to look unhinged. I breathed through the anxiety, then stared at my computer screen.
My last two appointments of the day were cancelled.
“You busy?”
My eyes darted up to see Cal hovering in the doorway. He wasn’t smiling. Great, just what I fucking needed. “Come on in.”
He shut the door behind him. It was definitely serious. He didn’t meet my gaze as he sat, leaning forward over his thighs with his hands hanging loosely between his parted knees.
“You’d better say something before I freak out,” I told him, shattering the silence. “I’m not having a great day.”
“Is it because of Ferris Redding?”
I wasn’t really surprised he knew. I hadn’t been subtle toward the end, crossing lines where anyone could see. “What do you mean?”
He glanced up at me. “Your bad day. Is it about him?”
I wasn’t going to sell us out just yet. “It’s a lot of things.”
Cal licked his lips. “You’re still in contact with him, then?”
Well, fuck. I couldn’t lie. “He’s staying with me.”
“Tell me whatever you two have going on was from before he became a patient here,” Cal said, his voice soft.
“He came to stay with me after he was a patient, but he and I…” I hesitated. “We did a photoshoot together. The one I did right before you hired me.Queervolution?”
He nodded. This time, he met my gaze.
“There was a group chat after. A lot of younger guys—rookies and shit. I kind of felt out of place because I was the only retired player asked to join. I said yes because I was bored and felt nostalgic. It’s hard some days. I miss it.”
He let out a breath. “I get that. I do.”
“Ferris and I met in person again a couple months after the photoshoot. We, ah…” Well, no. I wasn’t going to tell him everything. “Then we didn’t see each other again until after his accident. When he showed up here.”
