Page 80 of Top Shelf
I’d heard that before too, but it didn’t occur to me that it meant something important—something bigger—until right now. Maybe she’d never fully get it, but maybe she’d understood me for years longer than I thought. Fear shaped me too sometimes.
I felt a profound sense of gratitude for Quinn. His ability to help me step outside my own head was profound in ways I couldn’t quite explain. I’d known him such a short time compared to everyone else in my life, but he was so…different.
I swallowed heavily. “Thank you,” I murmured.
He smiled, nodded, then curled his hand around my jaw and drew me in for a kiss.
It was slow at first, just a press of lips, and then he opened his mouth on a sigh before pushing his tongue against mine.It was hot and slick and soft. He tasted like toothpaste and mouthwash. His perfect hands drifted from my waist to my ribs, then back down again as he rocked himself against me.
The kiss deepened more. He moaned into my mouth, and I caught the sound on my tongue as he rolled me on top of him and thrust himself against me. He was hard and a little wet, his dick rubbing against my stomach in the rhythm I knew he wanted to fuck me.
Or maybe…
“Do you want me to fuck you in the ass tonight?” I chanced.
He sucked in a breath, then laughed brightly as he looked into my face. “Yeah. I think I’d like that a lot.”
“Yeah?” It wasn’t something we often did. I liked it the other way around mostly, but I could tell he needed something deeper. Something more possessive. And I could give that to him.
I would give him anything I had the power to claim as my own.
He surged up, kissing me harder as his hand pawed to the side. He dislodged me twice as he struggled to get the lube, then dropped it beside my hand and put his fingers in my hair. “Can you get me ready?”
“Tell me if I mess it up.” I’d only done this for him twice since we’d been together. Once because I wanted to see what it felt like, and once while I was sucking him off. He swore he enjoyed it both times, but I was still struggling to have faith in myself when it came to making him feel good.
“You won’t get it wrong. Every time you touch me—no matter how you touch me—it’s the best feeling in the world.”
I kissed him for that, even though I didn’t believe him. I was fumbling and awkward. But at the same time, I understood him because even the simplest graze of his fingers on my arm sent shivers down my spine.
“How can we do this where you won’t get hurt?”
He rolled onto his side with his injured knee on the bottom, then bent his top leg to give me access. I took a moment, overwhelmed by the beauty of his body. The length of his spine, the muscles in his back, the hair on his legs. His scars were different—like a map of healing and trauma, which made him the man he was today.
The man I’d fallen in love with.
I couldn’t see them any other way.
“Touch me,” he begged.
I snapped the lube cap open, then slicked my fingers and dragged a touch between his cheeks the way he liked. The tremble in his words betrayed the patience he claimed to have. I knew one finger wouldn’t be enough. I started with two.
His back arched, a gasp flying from his chest as I angled my hand and found the right spot. He grunted when I grazed his prostate, and he humped his hips forward, tormenting himself from the lack of friction on his cock.
“More. Ferris, baby. Please.Please. I need more.”
I gave him a third, and he buried his face in the pillow, his knuckles going white with how hard he was holding his leg as he stretched it higher up along his chest.
“Need you. I need you. I’m going to fucking die if you don’t get inside me right now.”
Not the truth, not exactly. But maybe not a lie either. Sometimes it felt like I couldn’t breathe unless he was kissing me, even as he kissed all the breath from my lungs.
I wasn’t going to make him wait.
I wrapped my arm around his chest as my free hand gripped my dick by the base, and after a few swipes through the lube I’d left behind, I pushed inside him. He was hot around me and so fucking tight. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before.
My eyes slammed shut, and it took me a full thirty seconds of not moving because if I had even a hint of friction, I was going to come. The way he held his body still told me he understood. He knew.
“You like it?” he asked.
