Page 33 of Winning You
He had no idea if it was one of those blossoming love stories—two best friends who circled around each other for years until they finally gave in and admitted their feelings. Of course, it sounded like Lucas already had admitted his, and Gage rejected him, which was wild to Frankie.
If he’d had even a prayer of a chance with a man as funny and good-looking as Lucas was, he would have jumped at it. He would have done anything to protect it. But that ship had long since sailed.
Walking into his place, he found Fallon on the couch with his phone in his hand, glasses askew, fast asleep. Slipping off his shoes, he poked his head in Elodie’s bedroom to find her snoring gently with her fist pressed against her lips.
He hated that he was relieved because he liked being the one to put her to bed, but he was also exhausted, and he had amountain of shit on his to-do list. He wanted just a moment to himself to exist without someone needing his time or attention.
Sneaking into the living room, he grabbed one of the knitted blankets that Fenton had given him for Christmas a few years back and draped it over his brother. Fallon immediately stirred, one eye open as he stared at Frankie.
“You don’t have to get up,” Frankie whispered.
Fallon groaned. “Mmph. You want…a report.”
He laughed. “Tomorrow. Everyone is obviously fine. Though I can drive you home if you don’t want to take an Uber and don’t want to stay.” Fallon had never learned to drive and was adamant he had no plans to.
“I’m warm,” Fallon said.
“Okay.”
Fallon bit his lip. “I’m fighting with Charlie.”
Frankie felt a little wave of white-hot frustration in his gut. He fucking hated Charlie. He and Fallon had been together for about six months, but the guy was a complete fucking tool. He treated Fallon like both a child and a piggy bank. The guy worked four hours a week doing some sort of IT consulting, and three months in a row, Fallon had come to Frankie for financial help because Charlie had spent their entire rent budget on bullshit at the mall.
He’d also overheard Charlie telling someone on the phone once that dating Fallon was basically like dating a girl but without all the bullshit that girls brought into relationships, and that had sent him over the edge. He didn’t tell his brother. The last thing he wanted to do was trigger his dysphoria, but he’d pushed Charlie against the wall and told him that if he really thought that, he was going to walk away.
Charlie had fumbled through a litany of excuses trying to explain that he hadn’t meant it the way it sounded. Frankiehadn’t believed him, but Fallon had been so fucking excited to have his first boyfriend that he couldn’t bring himself to ruin it.
Not yet.
But the fucker was on notice.
“What did he do this time?” Frankie asked.
Fallon turned on his side. “I don’t want to say. You’ll just start ranting again about how we should break up.”
“I have never ranted about that,” Frankie said sourly. “But if he’s making you feel bad about yourself…”
“I just…want to give it time,” Fallon said. “Just a little bit longer, okay? It’s easy for you to tell me to move on and that I’ll find someone else. But it feels fucking impossible to be gay and trans some days. The way guys look at me…” He trailed off, and Frankie’s heart twisted in his chest.
He couldn’t and wouldn’t ever know what that felt like. It wasn’t the same when guys dumped him or didn’t want to date him because he had kids.
Someday, the kids would be grown up, and Frankie would be by himself again. Fallon would always be trans. That was a fundamental part of his person, and most of the time, he was proud of it. He never shied away from telling people who he was.
But Frankie could also see the weight that he carried because of it.
“I don’t want you to make yourself miserable for the sake of being in a relationship.”
“He makes me feel good sometimes,” Fallon said, his voice small.
Frankie shifted over and took Fallon’s glasses off his face, setting them on the side table. “He should make you feel good most of the time. But I’m not going to tell you what to do, and I will never judge you for your choices. All that matters is that you never forget I’m here. And between us, pride doesn’t exist, okay?”
Fallon took a deep breath, then let it out. “Okay. Thank you.”
Standing up, Frankie leaned over and kissed Fallon on the temple. “Stay as long as you need.”
His brother said nothing. His eyes drifted closed, and after a little while, Frankie stepped back and made his way into his room. He was hungry, but not hungry enough to do anything about it.
Instead, he stripped down and hopped in the shower, pressing his hands to the wall as hot water cascaded down his back. Fuck, it felt good. His muscles started to relax, and then so did his mind. With his eyes closed, the images in his head drifted back to Lucas. To the way he smiled. To the way he pulled Frankie over to a table and fed him and let Frankie ask him questions without reservation.
