Page 56 of Pose for Me
No, it won’t be because I’ll be dead.
I’m under no delusion that I’ll make it out of this house alive. Whether it be today, tomorrow, or weeks from now, Ryell will kill me.
Instead of that thought being scary, it’s freeing. I can do what I want in my last days, and no one will judge me, least of all Ryell.
The murders Ryell committed while he was in college are heavy on my mind. While I think it’s reprehensible that he killed two people just because they humiliated him, I can’t deny it’ssomething I’ve wanted to do often. As someone that feels fear and guilt, I never would, but I’d be lying if I said the notion never entered my mind.
Mostly, those thoughts are about my parents. What they did to me…I can’t think about it, or I’ll spiral again.
Or maybe not. With how well my Daddy is treating me, I might be…healing, if only a little.
Dragging my chain behind me, I grab a romance novel from the nightstand, sit in the chair beside the window, and pull the curtains open. The soft sunlight warms my skin, and I smile, closing my eyes as I greet the day.
When I open them again, I look out over Ryell’s backyard. It’s huge, surrounded by trees. I can’t see much into the distance, not sure what lies past the trees. I wonder if there’s a trail back there, somewhere for us to walk and explore.
I grunt at my stupid thought. This isn’t a relationship. This is an arrangement. I stay and allow him to draw me or whatever else he wants, and he doesn’t kill anyone. I shouldn’t make this situation something it’s not. But fuck, it’s hard. The past three days, Ryell has been showing me a side of him I never would have thought existed, and he’s my Daddy. That means something, I think.
Does that mean he no longer sees me as his victim?
Nah, that can’t be right. IamRyell’s victim. Just because he wants me to be his boy for the time being doesn’t negate his plans to slit my throat.
Since I don’t have all the answers, I settle more into the chair, open my book, and read.
I get lost in the book, only stopping to drink the protein shake, munch on the fruit Ryell left me, and use the bathroom.
The book is pretty good, and I would probably have finished it in one sitting if I didn’t hear the door open behind me. I look up and meet Ryell’s eyes. Smiling, I drop the book and situp straight in the chair. He returns my smile and walks over to me, gathering my face in his hands and kissing me softly. I sigh against his lips and hold on to his biceps. I’ll never get enough of Ryell’s touch. He makes me feel so good, so wanted, soseen.
Fuck, I’m losing my goddamn mind.
He hums as he pulls back and kisses my nose. “How are you today?”
“Good,” I murmur, then offer him my lips for one more kiss. He grins and pecks me quickly. “How was work?”
“It was okay. Had a tough case that had me in the operating room an hour longer than I initially planned. That’s why I’m home late.” He points at the clock on the nightstand.
I startle when I see that it’s after five in the evening. Ryell told me he usually gets off around three or three-thirty when he has OR days.
“Shit, I didn’t notice the time,” I say and hold up the book. “I was into this.”
He glances at the title and grins. “My sister-in-law gave that to me. Said something about getting in touch with my more feminine side.”
“Are you?” I ask teasingly.
He shrugs. “I’m notnotin touch with it. Just never had anyone to be softer for.” He gazes down at me with an emotion I can’t name, but he blinks it away between one breath and the next. He holds out his hand, and I take it so he can pull me to my feet. “Have you showered?”
I shake my head. He lowers himself in front of me and removes the cuff from my ankle and leads me to the bathroom. Ryell sits me on the counter and then starts the shower. I stare at his backside, at the hard, firm globes, and imagine my fingers gripping him there, urging him on as he fucks me. I use my hands to hide my growing erection.
When he’s deemed the water warm enough, Ryell comes over to help me remove my clothes, and he strips off his scrubs. Before we step into the shower, he pulls me into his arms and kisses me deeply. I groan and open for him, following the sensual glide of his tongue.
I’m panting when he releases me, my lips tingling.
“I love how you blush after I kiss you,” he says, tracing a finger down my cheek.
My face warms as I snort and move past him, ducking under the shower spray.
Ryell grabs a fresh washcloth and runs it over my body, rubbing and kneading at me. I don’t try to contain my sounds of appreciation, my dick twitching under his ministrations.
He grins when he sees the reaction he pulls from me, but he ignores my erection as he pumps bodywash onto the cloth and washes me. He’s thorough, sliding the cloth between my ass cheeks, then following it up with his fingers, the featherlight touch teasing my entrance.
