Page 59 of Pose for Me
“After about ten years,” I say, “I stopped trying. I could see the relief on their faces when I would enter and exit a room without a word to them. When I was sixteen, I heard them discussing how they regretted adopting a child and would have given me back after the first year if they didn’t think it would make them look bad to their friends. They kept me so they could maintain their social standing.”
“I’m sorry, baby boy. I’m here now. I won’t do that to you again,” Ryell says and kisses my forehead.
“Promise?” I beg, gripping the front his shirt. I need him to tell me I have nothing to worry about, that he would never ignore me, that he will never make me feel invisible again.
He plants another kiss on my forehead. “I promise, baby boy.”
I nod and finish up by saying, “When I was seventeen, they sat me down. I was surprised and wary, but I’m not going to lie, I was happy. I thought they would want to start a relationship with me since I was in my senior year of high school, almost an adult. I was wrong. They told me that as soon as I came of age, they were no longer responsible for me and would cut off all support. I had two weeks of high school left, so I took off that night and spent that time on a classmate’s couch. I went to the academy right after graduation, since they offered room and board.”
“That’s terrible, baby boy. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Didn’t I?” I ask, looking up at him. “I wasn’t wanted by anyone, not my birth parents, not the people that took me in. Then you…you didn’t…” I stop talking and shake my head. “I haven’t had it easy. I’m just trying to find my stretch of happiness.”
“And I’ll give that to you.” He kisses me hard, and I relish it. I can’t help but believe him. The conviction in his touch, in his words, in this kiss…I believe him.
And I’m such a fucking fool for that.
Breaking the kiss, he pats my thigh, and I stand so he can stir the food. “Dinner is ready. Let’s eat on the back deck. It’s warm out.”
I help Ryell fix our plates and we head outside. It’s a nice evening, and I soak it up, setting my plate on the table so I can step from under the porch and get some sun rays on my skin.
“You’re not as pale,” Ryell says with a smile in his voice.
I turn around and give him a dry look. “It helps when I’m not locked in a dungeon.”
He barks a laugh. “It’s a basement, not a dungeon. A subtle difference in comfort, I think.”
I try to hide my smile, but I can’t. “You’re impossible.”
“Do you hate them?” he asks. He doesn’t need to elaborate.
“Yes,” I answer honestly. “I’ve hated them since I was old enough to understand the emotion. I mean, who tells their kid, the one they were supposed to love, that they won’t take care of them just because they graduate from school?”
“They weren’t your parents,” he says with a shrug as he digs into his food. “And they didn’t deserve you.”
With a smile, I ask, “And you do?”
Ryell raises his eyes slowly, meeting my gaze straight on. “Yeah, Lane. I do. Just like you deserve me. Like I said, we’re both orphans. But at least I had my brother.”
“Your parents gave you and your brother up?”
“Jacob,” he says, and I nod, storing that information away.
It’s off topic, but I say, “You said he was older?”
Ryell hums. “He’s two years older than me.”
“How old are you?” I interrupt.
Ryell smiles. “Thirty-eight. And you’re thirty-two.”
“Stalker,” I murmur with a grin.
“A little.” He slides food into his mouth. After he chews and swallows, he says, “To answer your question, no, my parents didn’t give us up. My father killed my mother and tried to strangle Jacob, so I killed our father.”
I gape at him, not expecting that. “Wha…what happened?”
He sets his fork down and leans back in his chair. “My dad probably never wanted to be a dad. He was a fucking asshole, abusive and an alcoholic. He used to beat my mom, and she would keep taking him back. He didn’t pay us much attention one way or another. My mom did, though. She was nice. She had a pretty voice. I loved her, I think.”
