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I didn't get an immediate answer as Leah talked to someone else in the background. I loved my sister, but it had been harder to talk to her lately. It was partially my fault for forcing the distance, but we needed to become our own people. We'd spent so much of our lives doing everything together that it was nice to do something just for me for a change. It didn't stop the feelings of loneliness from creeping in from time to time and maybe that was why I tended to get attached to people so quickly.
The last week had been hard. There were days when I wanted nothing more than to pick up my phone and text Jeremy and convince him that this whole waiting a week to see each other again was stupid, but I was making an honest effort. Being on your own never hurt anyone and it was something I desperately needed to learn how to handle.
But, then my sister finally answered me.
"Sorry about that, Austin, but yeah. We just had this new guy move in the other day and I know it's not my responsibility to get him settled in, but he looked so lost... not to mention that I just... I don't know. It's a lot for just a few days."
I stopped moving. This was the first year we'd been apart since leaving for college and my sister wasn't even going tomake the attempt to come home? "What do you mean? Mom and Dad will miss you. Hell, I'll miss you."
Leah sighed. "I know. It's not that I don't want to be there. There's just a lot going on and looking at the weather forecast... I'm not sure things will be that great. If you think we get snow back home..."
And I knew that. Growing up in Chicago meant we always got the white Christmas. Snow was a guarantee and I was pushing my luck with getting stuck and not making it back in time for my classes, it didn't mean that I wouldn't still try.
I was about to start talking again when Leah cut me off. "Listen, Austin. I love you. You know that. I have some friends coming over and I need to finish getting ready. We'll talk more later, okay?"
That was my sister, always the social butterfly. It sucked not being the center of her world anymore, but this was good. I was good.
As soon as the call disconnected a strange sort of morose washed over me. I'd been feeling that way all week since Jeremy had walked out my door.
But that was when it hit me. He'd said we'd meet in a week and we'd never talked about how that would happen. Would he show up at my place or did I go to his? What if he wanted to meet up at the diner we first met at? Here Iwas wandering around campus when I should have been back at my dorm room waiting in case he showed up.
Was it a little pathetic? Maybe. Okay, so it was, but I was getting desperate. I turned back toward the dorms and practically sprinted back to my room. By the time I reached it, I was huffing and puffing, struggling to pull in a proper breath.
It was a stupid thought that I'd run all the way there and Jeremy would be standing at my door and waiting. He wasn't. It was a recipe for let down.
When there was no one standing at my door, I unlocked it with my sweaty hands.
The second the door closed behind me, I pressed my back against the unforgiving wood. No matter what, it wouldn't open up and swallow me whole. It's all I wanted it to do because I couldn't help the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I'd somehow been played.
It had been one week. I'd been really good about not reaching out to Jeremy and it was time that I finally gave in and tried to call him.
My hands shook so freaking badly as I scrolled through my contacts until I found his name. Texting seemed too impersonal. I wanted instant gratification. To hear his voice and know that all of this was in my head. I was making a mountain out of a mole hill.
The phone vibrated against my ear as I continued to shake when I lifted it to my ear.
The call connected right away, but the hope was just as quickly squashed the second the message began to play.
"We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again."
I couldn't breathe. My lungs seized and I couldn't pull in a full breath but it didn't stop my shaking fingers from trying again.
"We're sorry; you have reached—"
I didn't even let the message play all the way through a second time.
What the hell was that? Where the fuck was Jeremy and why was his number disconnected?
Chapter 1
Austin
Present Day
Do cranberries only make good garland if dried first, or can you string them up while they’re still fresh?
I stared at the bowl in front of me. The idea had seemed good at the time, but now that I was sitting there and putting it all together... eh... maybe I should have waited until I got to my parents’ place. I figured the popcorn had a high probability of getting smashed to high hell on the plane, and I remained confused about the damn berries. I remembered using fresh ones when we were kids.
Leah and I would sit with Mom next to the tree as she popped bowl after bowl of popcorn, while my twin sister and I threaded the treats onto string to use as garland. It was probably easier to go out and buy something sparkly, but that had been sort of fun. Not to mention that Mom would blast some of her favorite Christmas music while sipping eggnog, which she swore only she and Dad could touch.
