Page 5 of Something to Believe In
Jami nodded. "Oh yeah, sometimes those feelings of loss kind of creep up on you, don't they? I remember how happy she was for you."
"Yeah, I don't even know why thoughts of her popped into my head right now. It's just sometimes they do. Anyway, what were you asking me?"
Axel leaned back on the sofa and looked over at her. She looked into his eyes. Oh, my god, they were so beautiful. She wished she could look into his eyes forever.
Of course, they were musicians. Creatives. Didn't they all wear their hearts on their sleeves?
Axel's voice was gravelly when he said, "We were asking you how you felt about us changing the middle set and the last set. You had mentioned once before that it was a little hard on your voice going from the activity of the second set into the third set right away. It's hard on me, too, Mads. We thought maybe we could switch them around before our big concerts coming up.
"Oh." She took a deep breath. "Yeah, that would be great. Thank you for thinking of that."
Jami leaned his elbows on his knees.
She turned and looked into his concerned eyes. "Really, Mads, you okay?"
"Yes, yes, I'm okay. I promise I'm okay. I'm sorry about Doug. I didn't mean to bring that here. But I'll admit I'm not unhappy about his leaving. My mind was elsewhere today, and I didn't hit all my notes during rehearsal, so I'm feeling like..." She let out a breath. "I don't want to let you guys down."
Axel's hand rested on her knee, and he squeezed. She looked down at his red, roughed-up knuckles. Small specks of blood had risen to the surface, and goosebumps skittered up her arms. Her eyes looked into his. "You're not letting anybody down. Don't think that way. Everything is fine with us. Everyone experiences an off day. All of us have those days. Luckily, we all have more on days than off days."
She laughed. "You're right."
Jami stood. "All right, guys, I'm gonna head up to the house and drop into bed. Lock up when you leave."
Sean finished the last of his beer, strode to the recycle bin, and dropped the bottle into it. "I'm right behind you. Gloria's working on our next podcast, and I promised her I'd be home to go over it with her. See you guys in the morning."
Jami and Sean left the barn, and that left her alone with Axel. Mads’ stomach tightened. She blew out her breath. This was dangerous; she should probably just leave.
He turned and fully faced her. He moved to sit on the coffee table in front of her, like he had before. His knees were on either side of hers, and he looked into her eyes and grinned. "What else are you thinking about?"
She shook her head. "Nothing."
"Okay, well, here's what I was thinking. There were two times you and I were offbeat during that last song. I need to sleep at night, and I'm not going to until I have it perfect. So what do you say, you and I go into the studio and let's pound that one out one more time? Do you have enough strength in your voice to sing it again?"
She swallowed. "Yeah, I can do that."
"All right, let's go do it, Mads."
He pushed himself back and stood up. He waited for her. She finished her drink and stood. They walked side by side across the lounge.
Entering the studio, he closed the door and flipped on the lights. Axel turned on the recorder and set the music to start at the beginning of the song. She turned on the microphone. Moving across the floor of the studio as deliberately as he could, he sat behind his drums and waited until she looked at him and nodded.
"Okay, I have Jami's voice, Sean's bass here set up ready to play with us, so it'll almost sound like we're all here. Tell me when you're ready."
She smiled. "I'm ready."
"Okay." He hit the switch, and the music started.
Axel began drumming out the beat. She swallowed to moisten her throat, and when it was her time to sing, she sang to the best of her ability. She turned and watched him as his hands and his arms moved so gracefully to beat against the drums. That beat went right into her chest and through her belly. She hit those notes hard, and they were perfect. And when the song ended, he gave her an amazing look.
He stood, a huge smile on his face, and he ran over and picked her up and swung her around. "That was perfect."
She giggled. "It was."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him tightly to her body. She wanted to hold on to him for a long time. If this was all she ever got, she wanted to remember it. She squeezed him, and he squeezed her right back, and she thought her heart would explode.
Chapter Five
The following morning, Axel woke up early. He hadn't slept last night, and now he felt drained. Every time he closed his eyes, he thought of Maddyn. He thought of how she felt pressed against him. For fuck's sake, she felt good. Perfect. Like what he thought she would feel like. He wasn't looking for just anyone. He could get women anytime he wanted. As the band grew more popular, the offers came more often. Plentiful. If they'd been the type of band that would go backstage and party and fuck, he could have five or six a night if he wanted. That had never been what this band was about. Never.
